I feel too sensitive to existence of other people and I'd rather stay away from them. After hanging out with friends, i always noticed that I need a long recharge before going out again. It just feels so hard trying to be a social person. Not knowing what to say or how to say it. I prefer to not make eye contact with random civilians by my always aroused brain keeps my eyes wandering.

I tolerate human beings. We are fickle minded and lack humility. So many people aren't honest with themselves and you see right through them but they'd rather project instead of addressing themselves or attempt to.

Dont even get me started on dating. That's where people get exposed for who they are. And I don't see myself being a long term partner for anyone. I just don't want have to sacrifice myself for someone else just for it to not be guaranteed. I could care less about a lesson in life, it's not worth the pain.

I'm just so tired of life. Its boring and I feel like I've already been through it. Through it. Not as in I know everything but ik what to expect, and this shit is not fun. Just work work, work, pay for shit, disappointment, loss in love, pain, suffering, bills, money, consumption. Industrialization, capitalism, ads, internet, I'm sick of the modern world. But the world has to keep turning somehow.

I dont belong in this timeline. The human experience is dull.