No, but really, just talk. I don't hate sportsball. But I Don't Get It.

My first experiences with sports were kinda sad. I'm disabled so the first thing I remember was wanting to play football (actual football, yes I don't hate sports but I am still French, so allow me this pedantism) with the guys in my class, but getting rejected for diverse and obvious reasons. Then I tried adapted sport, but I was pretty much always alone, so to me it was insanely boring. I was bad at it too.

I remember World Cup 98. The final, all the people, so tensed, then so happy. I was a kid so I joined on the happiness, but it's the last really happy memory I have with sports.

And I still practice! I'm on a team and shit! Playing sportsball, being absolute shit at it but applying myself, not complaining, there every training session but I resent it all. I do it because it's good for me. When I play, even in a real competitive game, I just want to go shower. Or just home.

I especially, for moral reasons, hate the competitive side. I mean fine if you want to participate. But the more I see of it the more it all appears to me as sort of a sublimation of the instinct for war. It encourages aggressiveness, and just wanting to be "the best" or even just "better than the next guy". I'm a communist so I believe in cooperation, emulation over competition. It irks me, but when I say moral reasons, I don't mean I pass moral judgment on people who engage in it. It just don't jive with my code (and again, it's an emotional thing).

And don't get me started on watching sports. I barely care when I play, and when I watch other people play... Well I'm thankful for a rich inner life and a high capacity to dissociate. Special big up to the Olympics. Can't last 5 minutes in front of athletism.

But its a shame isn't it? I mean there is something there, otherwise I wouldn't be such a minority. Y'all wouldn't like it so much if there was nothing to like, right?

So please tell me, what do you think I'm missing? I would very much like to learn to enjoy sportsball, but I have no emotional base for it.

Halp PLZ!

EDIT

and you did! Thanks to everyone. To me it was a helpful conversation. It's a lot about the people you do it with. It's about the stories they tell you.

Sports is silly when you put it a certain way. Like you know the "watching grown men chase after a ball for millions of dollars" shtick. It's illogical. And fuck if it isn't the beauty of it. Like everything that makes life bearable.

Have fun chasing your favorite sportsball, friendos.