This isn't my usual stomping grounds for stories (see my post history if you care), but recently, I actually got to experience what this sub is all about.

I shop at a local grocery store. They wear blue tops/vests, black pants, and black shoes.

This day, I was wearing a maroon polo, khaki pants, and low cut suede Timberlands.

Several times while walking through the store, I ran across an elderly lady who would scoff at me every time I walked past. I didn't think anything of it, until I went to check out.

I was making small talk with the cashier when I heard a loud, "Ahem!" behind me.

There stood the old lady, a cart full of groceries.

I ignored her for a moment, when I heard her yell at (what I assume) was the top of her lungs, "I need help!"

I looked at the cashier.

I looked at the old lady.

Looking me right in the eyes, she threw her hands in the air, and chuffed like a horse, before motioning at her cart.

With what I'm sure was a visible look of confusion on my face I stared at her, pondering why she thought yelling at me would convince me to help her. This seemed to irritate her even more as the chuffing noise she was making became more rapid.

Side note: Now, I try to be nice to everyone, but I have enough respect for myself to not dignify animal noises with a response. Unless of course it's a puppy. Puppies get squeals of delight.

Turning back to my groceries, I ignored her as the barnyard imitation devolved into a sputtering of sorts.

Finally, after I finished paying I looked at the cashier and simply said, "She does know I don't work here, yeah?"

That did it.

The old lady started convulsing, mouth open and shaking like a nutcracker with Parkinson's.

Sadly, another cashier nearby saw the crazy routine and offered to help her, at which point the language centers of her brain returned and she began ranting about, "that young man's lack of customer service skills".

We all just shared a knowing look and an eye roll.

I'm sure I'll see her again.