Hey guys what's up so I've been super pissed off about this whole situation and I want to know how I can get out of this obvious SCAM.

So basically I've been using my dad's car to get around, especially since I started taking part time classes at the local community college. Some people take the bus but I was like FUCK that, once I saw a homeless person hanging out in the bus stop and besides, I don't want my schedule to be dictated to me by someone else!! So I kind of borrowed my dad's Subaru Forester 2001, sweet ride honestly. Anyways, my dad found out and hid the keys from me and punished me by shutting off the internet at 9PM. So I was like yo fuck that time to get my own car, you know what I mean?

Well I had some money saved up so I looked up "used cars" on google. Found a place kinda close by, I looked at the picture of the owner on the website, obviously looks like a tool, you can tell that he's not used to people REALLY negotiating. Now I used to negotiate wheat to iron exchange rates on my Minecraft singleplayer world so I think I know a couple of things about negotiation ;) PLUS, I smashed my piggybank this morning so I have plenty of CASH (most of it in coin form) and am ready to BUY right now.

I took the bus (FUCK) to the dealership and walked through the front door. I approached the first employee I saw. "Hey, you ready to sell a car today?" I asked. Turns out he actually didn't work there, oops whatever lol. Before I could do anything else, a lowly salesperson came over and asked what I wanted. I told him I wanted a sweet ride, nothing too highkey just a nice baller car to get around, and that I was ready to pay NOW. He told me to hold on and asked me some questions about what I want to drive. He was guiding me towards shiny red sports cars, I told him I wanted something a bit older as older cars have sat on the lot lower and therefore they would practically be begging me to take the car off their hands. He brought me out to the back of the lot and showed me a 205hp 1994 honda accord. This car was CLEAN, man, it was so low to the ground and had a nice slant, I could tell this car was slick. I started fishing through my pockets to get my cash and start the negotiation. After some intense back and forth, we settled on $3500 out the door, plus paperwork fees and client surcharge. I gave him all of my paper money and also all of coin, he went to his office to count it and came back out and said there's a problem, this is not nearly enough money. I told him that's my final offer, BEST I can do, sell me at this price or I WALK. Well he said we need to go and find a bit older model to accomodate my budget.

We walked back around the very end of the lot and found a 1976 Rustmobile at 88 horespower. He said this is the car for my budget. This was obviously a luxury car of its time. The two rows are two queen sized matresses and the speedometer was bigger than my head. I could tell I was totally going to be able to pick up and bang that hot single mom elizabeth from my sustainable food growth course at the community college. The problem is he couldn't get it started, obviously a tactic to try to get me to agree to a higher price.

THAT'S WHEN IT DAWNED ON ME BROS. If going older gets you a better car, for less of money, WHO CARES! So I told him, we're going OLDSCHOOL or I'm going home. He led me to a field behind the dealership and opened the doors to an old barn. There in the corner was a 1 horsepower 1887 Brougham Carriage. this beauty was MINT, only a light coat of rust and the wheels are almost straight when they turn! Plus he was able to fire her right up, just yelled a bit at the steed and she was warmed up almost right away. Yo I was so stocked. The dealer shook my hand and we went back to the dealership and signed the paperwork. 30 minutes later I was pulling away in my very first CAR(riage).

Obviously the first thing I did is pulled a sick burnout in front of the dealership (whipped the line and screamed at the horsey while also saying "woah girl" at the same time) and pulled a big middle finger to the dealership before screeching off at 3MPH.

Dudes I was LOVING this new purchase and proud of myself for finding out the HACK to getting the best deal on a luxury car. But when I was only a couple of miles away, suddenly my Check Horse Light came on! Yoo what the fuck! It was at that moment I realized I had gotten scammed by that goddamn stealership, who had obviously reset the code right before showing it to me! Well luckily I know a thing or two about cars, so I quickly pulled a U-turn on the main avenue (a lot of people were honking so it startled the horse, whatever) and pulled into my local Autozone. I walked inside and loudly said "Hey I need someone to check my codes on my sweet new ride!" The employee asked me what year, when I said 1887 she said that's too old!!!! dude wtf?? Apparently they only read codes on cars after 1996? Well I told them what the fuck do you want me to do? They said take it to a local mechanic.

Well obviously I knew enough to remember a secret trick I read on google about how to fix a broken car. I pulled up to my local shell station, jumped out and hit the rightmost fuel button, ULTIMATE fuel. It's a known trick that using high quality fuel fixes most problems. So basically I filled up the tank (it was a little bit hard finding the gas tank opening but eventually I found it) until it was almost overflowing. Then I climbed back in my 87 brougham and tried revving it up, but it wouldn't start! MY NEW CAR WOULDN'T START ANYMORE! I immediately tried calling the dealership and the police to tell them I had a LEMON on my hands, and to enforce the LEMON LAW against the crimestership that sold me this LEMON! FUCK! I was so pissed I accidentally kicked the wheel of my 1887 Brougham Carriage, which then fell off. Obviously further evidence that my lemon was tampered with before being force-sold to me without my knowledge.

So basically my question is this, how do I unwind the deal?? Can I just bring back my Lemon and demand them to give me back my paper money and coins? I need that money to buy a coloured name on my favorite mineman server, bros. The police told me it's a civil case but should I call back (911) and demand do speak to their manager??

Please help, tell me how I can sue or force this Crimestership to unwind the deal and get this lemon off my hands!!