First: I'm a 41 year old man in a newly non-monogamous marriage. I have a 5 year old daughter, a wonderful partner, a satisfying job and an all-around awesome life. My partner and I are both queer and kinky in our own ways and have recently decided that we want to explore and enjoy these aspects of ourselves with other people as well as with each other.

For as long as I can remember, I've been fascinated, and incredibly aroused, by the idea of hypnosis.

Literally, my earliest memories of arousal, long before I was actually in any way equipped to understand these feelings, are from depictions of hypnosis and mind control in media - Sarah Jane on Dr.Who, the climax of A Wrinkle in Time, the idea of Jafar simply hypnotizing and controlling Princess Jasmine in Disney's Alladin... these are the things that filled my early adolescent fantasies, and indeed my present waking daydreams.

My favorite fantasies and visions of hypnosis are all casual, conversational, slow and gentle and overwhelming and erotic. Where the line between reading and focusing and following along with my words, and then just, simply, following and letting go is deliciously fuzzy.

There's something about the particular kind of intense and overwhelming focus - the kind of simultaneous intense concentration and total auto-pilot that is the hypnotic experience that feels wonderfully analagous to sex itself, which I think is what, ultimately, makes it so erotic.

My kink is quite fluid and I've very much a switch -- I'm turned on by the relationship rather than role, and am happy to embody either or both sides. In life I am temperamentally a warm, nurturing, caregiving-type and I think these attributes make their way into my sex-life and sexuality in a bunch of different ways. There's a lot here, and I'm happy (eager even!) to share more in messages and conversation.

Outside of sex, I'm a big nerd. I like books and games and programming computers and making things. In my job I make tools and toys for kids to play and make with. My primary leisure activities are overwhelmingly family-oriented -- maintaining and enjoy our house and being with friends and playing with my kiddo, weekend travels, beach trips, museums, hiking, endless games of sparkly-unicorn-based imaginative play. But when I have moments for me I enjoy weird indie video games, anti-capitalist science fiction, and delicious food and drink.

I'm 6', 180lbs, a formerly-skinny reasonably active nerdy guy with a dad-bod. I'm happy to share pictures in individual correspondence but am skittish about posting them on the uncontrolled world-wide-internet.

I'd love to hear from you if any of this resonates. My life is quite full, and I don't have a lot of extra space inside of it, but it would be fun to find some and see if we can make something lovely together. I live in Providence, Rhode Island, and frequently visit Boston, but would generally be happy to travel in the New England area to connect.