A few years back, I had my first experience of having a boyfriend and my first experiences of having a non-monogamous relationship.

I knew from the start that this relationship would be different to anything I had experienced and honestly, that excited me a lot. I was looking forward to new experiences and seeing where it lead - which just happened to be down a pretty deep rabbit hole

I knew he would play with others eventually and I wasn't sure how I would feel about it happening. Turns out, it happened a lot sooner than I had expected. I woke up one night to my phone going off, message after message, photo after photo. My boyfriend, all dressed up and looking cute, except I didn't recognise where the bedroom he was in - that's when it hit me that he was fucking someone new that night.

I didn't sleep that night, I was overthinking it constantly. We talked that morning and it's safe to say that in that moment, I felt betrayed, felt like maybe this was the wrong relationship for me to a part of... Those feelings changed pretty quickly that afternoon. He came over, still in the same clothes he was fucked in hours before. He talked, for all of 5 minutes, before he lead me into the bedroom. We started playing together, but this time he was telling me all about the things he was doing the night before. How be was sucking a strangers cock, being fucked roughly... All while he was teasing me and having me worship his body. It was crazy intense and despite the negative emotions beforehand, the sex was incredible!

He was with several other guys while the relationship lasted. We tried to arrange him to fuck someone new with me tied up and watching but it never managed to happen - but it has left lasting impression and a desire to encourage my current partner to explore with new people.