I dated a bad guy during university. One day, he wanted me to give him a show. The only rule he had was that I could only masturbate anally. I gave a little strip tease and then my ex threw our toys on the floor in front of him. He had his phone out the entire time.

I did hardcore anal masturbation. He degraded me with his words and directed everything I did. "Take the plug out and put it in your mouth, then put those beads in". "Tell Jimmy hello". "Tell Ryan this is for him. Blow him a kiss". I said and did everything he told me to say.

Turns out, he was live streaming the entire show. Those guys I mentioned, they were watching as if I was actually talking to them. I honestly thought my ex was just making a video. I found out because his friends would tell me degrading things over the next few days.

I felt degraded, humiliated, used, and ashamed. For some reason, we didn't break up. My ex was very dominant and is one of the biggest reasons why I am submissive today. When I think about this specific time now, it kind of turns me on. I have a humiliation and degradation kink that still needs to be fed.