So I’m basically looking for general advice from people with experience. I’m not certain if I’m even in the right forum, I don’t know if this is a cuckold, stag/vixen or hotwife situation, though I’m leaning hotwife because of a few things, so if anyone has any opinions on that I’d appreciate your thoughts. Any advice is really welcome.

I’m in a relatively new relationship, my boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for about 3 months. After some dirty talk one night that somehow ended up with me telling him my first time was with a black guy, (for clarity, both my boyfriend and I are white) it’s like a switch was flipped. He’s 100% invested in seeing me with a black guy.

I am not opposed to this lifestyle or exploring this with him. It’s not something I previously ever considered, I’ve always been completely monogamous, disgusted by cheating. But now that this is on the table I’m super curious and trying to learn as much as I can.

I kind of don’t understand his perspective on this, I’d be devastated to watch my boyfriend have sex with anyone else. But that’s me, if it’s something that works for him I’m willing to explore. He was very quick to agree that he wouldn’t be sleeping with anyone else. But for anyone reading this who’s the male in this lifestyle: how do you feel when your partner sleeps with someone else?

Most of our dirty talk and sex now revolves around this fantasy. He gets off on me telling him fantasies/scenarios. He’s giving me complete control over finding a bull, I’ve messaged a lot of guys and am slightly overwhelmed by how many responses I’ve gotten.

I talked to one guy via video call. It was very “getting to know you,” he said he thought I was a catfish at first and wanted to verify I was real, he shared his experiences so I could feel him out. I talked to him while my boyfriend was in another room. Just the fact that I was talking to another guy, not even anything super explicit seemed to send my boyfriend through the roof in a positive way. He said it made him jealous, he couldn’t stop thinking about how beautiful I am/will be sleeping with another guy, he wants me to get “fucked in the way I deserve” he’s not saying that with a negative connotation, rather life he can’t do it well enough and somebody else can.

As a side note: my boyfriend has stated that if I’m uncomfortable or don’t want to go forward it’s 100% okay and will not change how he feels about me.

I’m nervous about any possible negative impacts this could have. What conversations should we be having? From people with experience, what conversation do you wish you’d had? Things I won’t have considered. Are there red flags you’re finding in this post?

Thank you