My wife and I are mid-40s. So, about a year ago, when our sex life was really going well (we started using toys for the first time, she started wearing semi-revealing outfits out and about at my behest, etc) I revealed to my wife that I think it would be really awesome to see her with another guy. I received the expected "I have no interest in that whatsoever; I only want to be with you" response. But she didn't act like I was an alien or anything. She didn't say much about it. Shortly afterward, she became pregnant and later miscarried. That cast a sad shadow over our sex life for a number of months.

Fast forward to now, and somehow the opportunity to tell her about the fantasy came up again. She didn't say much about it, really. She definitely expressed no real interest, but also didn't affirmatively say no. Out of curiosity, she asked if I envisioned myself just watching, or how it would go down.

My wife's personality is such that she perceives it as me "pushing" something if I bring it up too often, or want to do something (let's say, anal if we didn't do it in a long time) again right after we did it, so I have learned to lay low with things. I, on the other hand, think if it was fun, let's do it again tomorrow. She, not so much.

We have a young son who is with her almost everywhere she goes, especially in summer.

Last weekend our son was with me and she stopped at the auto parts store to pick up my online order. The clerk, who was in his late 20's as estimated by her, told her that "it's too bad you're married." She was very flattered, and called me to tell me. She knew I would not be jealous and be happy to hear about it.

It turns out I had to return what she picked up, so I arranged for her to go solo to return it. I asked her the night before to do me a favor and wear something cute in case her "admirer" was there. She rolled her eyes, but to my surprise did not say no. I gave her no suggestions, so as to not appear "pushy." Since our child was born, she usually dresses very casually and no sexy in the least.

It turns out she wore a cute skirt and a top with no bra. I was actually very surprised by the lack of a bra, and very pleased that she did that for me. I was over the top telling her how beautiful she looked, etc. Of course, the guy wasn't there today.

She was supposed to buy something else I needed while there, but forgot. I suggested she dress sexy for me again tomorrow, and I could hang out with our son while she runs over there to try again. She perceived that as me going too far, telling me she felt "pimped out." I recovered by explaining I was only suggesting because the admirer wasn't there, and telling her that she is a beautiful woman who deserves to dress up and go out without our child sometimes and get the kind of compliments she deserves. I happened to tell her that via text, and she responded with "thank you" and heart emojis.

She is no where near the point of sleeping with someone else. But I look at this as baby steps. I'd like to get her back to the auto parts store, dressed sexy, before her willingness/desire to do so vanishes.

Do I let it go for now, or gently ask again? Any other advice or observations? Any other ideas?