Hi all! So you know when you feel like something is off with your significant other?

No initiating texts, no how are yous or how's your day. More talk about this girl at work, becoming invested in her work status/environment. No slaps on the ass or titty grabs. Everything I say or do seems to annoy him. When I initiate sex or ask for sexy time I get turned down knowing he is going to masturbate later in the night.

For context my hubby and I work different shifts. I work 1st and he works 2nd. We have 4 kids that I do literally everything for. I've gained about 20 lbs in the past 3 months and been slightly depressed after loosing my job. So I wasn't as sexual as normal but I would still make him cum at least 3 times a week.

Well recently things have changed. He has changed.

His vibe is different.

He has become so invested in work drama and a certain female coworkers issues. Even going far enough to jeopardize his rep with the "boys" at work by snitching on another coworker for this female coworker's benefit. Snitches get stitches is what he always says. Well not in this case, I guess.

This man use to be obsessed with me. He would want sex whenever or wherever. Never could keep his hands off me. During sex I could tell he liked it. He would show me he liked it and i would make him cum from the sex. He would also occasionally go down on me willingly.

Now...he seems afraid of my pussy. Doesn't go near it. And when we do have sex I don't feel like I'm enough like I'm not pleasuring him. I can only make him cum if I jerk him off or give him head. Also, he keeps asking for sex enhancing pills for himself so we can have sex. Like he needs one everytime we have sex. It feels like he is being forced to do a chore when I'm fucking him. For sex I've been the initiator lately.

Another weird thing is he is not social and does not do anything in his free time. Well he has been going to play cards with the "boys" on Saturday nights lately.

Then one day I was at a family Christmas party with the kids and he was supposed to go to a buddies house to watch football well come to find out later that night he went to the bar with this friend. OK when I say this man was horny when I got home is an understatement. He could not keep his hands off me. He was so hard and trying to fuck me instantly when I got home. He hasn't been like that since we first started dating. His whole demeanor was different. Something just seemed so off.

Then last night I logged into his reddit thinking I would post something sexy looking for some fun which has gotten us going in the past.

Well I found some stuff. And it has me so heated.

He posted 2 weeks ago something like "married man looking for good head" 1 reply to this was all I could see.

On the same night he replied to a females post who was looking for dick. He told her where he was located. I looked back at our texts. We weren't fighting and we just had hardcore sex the night before. He was being very distant during the day that day.

How do I approach this?

He gets very defensive easily. He will bring up the past. The fact that 2 months into our relationship I slept with my ex of 14 years. This was 9 years ago.

He will definitely gaslight me and tell me I'm most just having a guilty conscience and I'm the one who is cheating.

I've thought about approaching it like "I want to be more sexually available for you" and see if I can real him back in.

But why do I have to be the one chasing after him to get his interest in me back? He doesn't seem any kind of interested in me or how I feel lately.

This was always my fear. Since day 1 I was worried at some point I won't be sexually enough for him.

I've been more flirty, wearing skimpy clothes, staying up late with him, spoiling him, etc. In the past month and this is what I get? Him seeking something else. How the f am I supposed to feel? All I feel now is afraid to approach him because it'll be my fault and I'll be the one in the wrong.

If your here to judge me go ahead I don't give a fuck. I'm just looking for a little guidance or insite.

Thoughts?