so I really like the idea of the 3rd guy not knowing she isn't cheating. she has had phone sex with a couple of guys and has been out on a dinner date with one. they all know she is married but none of them know I know and I've meet with and talked to them through online interactions and they know I'm her husband. any one of them could message me but both I and the wife like the idea that they think she is cheating. one guy broke some boundaries that she didn't like. I'm not concerned about them not saying anything to me but do you think the 3rd should know she's not cheating? I can definitely see if she was having sex with multiple guys they should know they aren't the only ones.

also I don't reply to DM unless I initiate it so don't bother sending them without getting ahold of me first down in the comments.