About 5 years ago we bought her a suction cup dildo for couples play. That quickly turned into wanting to watch her which she had no issue with. Somehow that morphed into wanting her to go solo while I wasn't home then naming the toy, and some sexy texts pre and post deed. Followed the rabbit hole on pornsites and found hotwife LS. I've been hooked since. She didn't understand at first but never judged. As I explored more I really integrated the LS into roleplay and dirty talk. Sometimes she's all In and others it's a struggle. We usually set up the bedroom with soft lighting, she puts on lingerie and kisses me "goodbye " as she locks me out of the bedroom for solo fun. It's during this part that I am beyond aroused. Weve also played this out at hotels with and without me. Once she cums, I get the flirty text that "it's your turn" and the reclaim session begins. This is where I get so confused. She is 100% not interested in HW. We've talked pre, and post (nut) sex and it's always no. I've explained I have 0 interest in other women. I really just want to her to be sexual while i watch from the sidelines. Im very visual. I've offered hallpasses for real (there is a guy at her work I'm sure wants her and maybe she's a bit interested) but she doesn't bite. During reclaiming after her solo play her dirty talk starts...tame. very light. But as we go and I become vocal and descriptive she does as well. The thing she says are blurred between real and fantasy. I try to encourage her to tell me her true thoughts but she puts up walls but i can sense she wants to say something but hesitates. I go as far to talk about her " work friend" and really make it so she can see herself doing it with him. Again, she goes to a point but pulls back. Once I've finished and clarity sets in, she turns it all off and it's a resounding no. I thank her, tell her I love her, I trust her, that her sexual freedom is important to me and I want to her to experience this. We have never had issues in the bedroom. I'm fairly large and more sexual than her. I always make her center of attention and my rule is she always cums first. So this isn't any thing to do with a lack of satisfying sex between husband & wife. So, does anyone have ideas how to break down that barrier? Get her to at least openly talk about what she's really thinking in those moments? I've met the work friend and personally i don't see the attraction but if she was fantasizing about him, I wouldn't have a problem hearing her say his name or talk about what she would do. I encourage her to dress a bit sexier for work and with her permission, pick out her bra and thongs with intention of "maybe" or "just in case" but again I feel like she's stuck on the edge. Like she will only go so far and never let me in or let what she's really thinking come out. I've accepted this may just stay as roleplay. I also know 5 years is still very early in the journey to do it for real. I just feel that she's so close to the next step that it could really enhance the experience. Bring out a side of her that may bring our sex life and relationship closer together.