I don't know what I wanted to get out of this post, but I think it's a part of what would be called the "aftercare" step of the hot wife experience. I know not everyone goes through the same emotional roller coaster that happens after, but my roller coaster ride after was like getting hit by a truck and I was very unprepared with how it would affect me. I felt very hurt, but very excited all in one moment and it was so strong I was having a hard time coping. This story is how this experience started and where we're at now (a much stronger position). I guess I hope it helps others who mostly read how much fun this experience is, and it is, but it comes with a lot more than what people talk about.

For us, we've been together for 24 years solid without any thought or interest with being with anyone else. Our relationship was as good as we could have imagined it without any thoughts that it needed improvement. Our sex life was phenomenal, enough to make the average person blush. We used toys, vibrators, all sorts of kinky tactics, and a whole lot of strategy to bring my wife to epic screaming (very wet) orgasms. So, no issues there.

Our transition into trying something like this was due to something I could not give my wife. A new perspective on her attractiveness and that she still had what it took to be attractive. I can tell her that all day for those 24 years that she's gorgeous and perfect in every way, but after you do that so many times it becomes almost routine. So even though we were perfectly happy, and our relationship was perfect in every way, I decided it might be interesting to do a controlled stress test. This would be her experiencing a guy with me in the room (Stag/Vixen/Bull relationship).

We started by going to clothing optional places and testing how others would react to us and how we'd react to being naked with others. This turned out to be fantastic and even opened a bunch of doors in my wife's mind. She now thinks she's bi-sexual since she keeps finding other women super-hot and can imagine doing things with them. This led her to thinking about her past and all these other signs that she might have been ignoring due to her upbringing. Happily, she's starting to mentally explore this side and has even shown interest in playing with other women (last event she sat next to another woman who kept leaning in close to talk to her and all she could think about is how much she wanted to kiss her and play with her boobs).

We met a guy at that event, and she had her first experience with a Bull while I watched. She definitely got her enjoyment out of it but was very careful to follow the rules we created beforehand. If there were any questions about if something was ok, she kept asking me if I was ok with this. I mostly left everything up to her how she wanted to play it out since I wanted to test and re-evaluate how it felt after the fact. Considering this was something new, I didn't want to just limit the experience barring some safety features (which were followed).

What I wasn't prepared for was the onslaught of emotions that came with the experience. It was surreal watching my wife of 24 years have this experience and be excited over it to a level I wasn't expecting. She later explained it was something she wasn't expecting either, but it was like dating someone new for the first time and all of the excitement that goes with that. I had fits of almost like a depression, like a strong cognitive dissidence pulling me back and forth in my mind. This thing I just witnessed was exactly what how I had hoped it would go and everyone involved followed the rules precisely, the guy was even nice and professional with a follow-up discussion talking about what he wanted to try and hoped it was good for both of us. He left promptly afterwords and my wife and I sat there a little stunned at what had just happened.

She was questioning if I was unhappy with what happened and struggled with some level of guilt over all of it. I told her she had nothing to worry about and that I wanted all of this, and I knew there would be some emotional pain afterwords. She was worried I would view it as cheating, but I reassured her that I was in the room with her and helped set this up. This was an event both of us were involved with and can in no way be considered cheating. For me cheating would be something like this occurring behind my back. So, this didn't count. This helped her enormously and she was able to decompress her reserves. She felt a new sense of herself and far more confidence about her attractiveness. She told me that even if we never did anything like this again, she's realized it's ok for her to find other people attractive and that she's still a woman with all that goes into being a woman still inside her. The other doors it unlocked were just an interesting side piece that came from being naked around other women, but I think this experience truly made her explore these ideas even more so. She said it was like a gift that I had given her and that she had a very different view on life. A more comfortable view.

Again, for me the feeling of emotions was not what I expected, at least not to the level it hit me. I felt like I was hit by a truck and didn't know how to cope with this new event that happened. Part of me kept saying I should be very upset about this, but the other part was reminding me that I had asked for it and that there was a huge number of positive things that come out of these situations if you're adult enough to handle them and understand the direction you aim your relationship. I knew a little about the "Aftercare" part to some extent when I was researching how this would work, but I didn't really think too much about it since most people brush it aside and say it'll bring out the sexual side of your spouse (they're not kidding with this).

What I didn't know was that I should have spent more than just a few hours of cuddling, sex, talking and just being together. We did this, but it was a short lived 4-5 hours. She was fine, but I still had this emotional lump I was trying to justify. I went online and looked at what others had gone through and realized my side of this experience was far from over. I sent her this information and let her know how I was feeling and this immediately put her in damage control (I can't say how much I appreciate my wife and how much she cares about me). She read everything I sent her about these different feelings I was being hit with and we sat and just spent time talking, a good deal of it was me lightly crying because of how much this hit me. She said she loved that it brought out this side of me because it showed her how much I loved her and didn't want to lose her.

This right here is the driving factor that made her very happy about the idea of doing this again I think and made everything ok to her that it had happened. My emotional response was far more extreme than either of us had expected (I'm usually reserved about negative emotions and joke a lot; this was not that in the least).

We spent the remainder of the evening talking, fondling, cuddling, kissing, and just being together. It allowed her to understand where I'm at with this and understand that even though I wanted this, there came some baggage with it, and I needed to unpack and cope with. I also needed her help with this since this is most definitely a two-person job.

I didn't expect things to progress like this and she had no interest in going further if it hurt me, but I told her that I knew I just needed to let this sink in and get over it and that none of the fears that rolled around in my mind would occur. She said she'd be perfectly happy just spending the rest of her days with me, getting old, and being together as we lose our minds in senility.

I told her that we're not done yet. I think a taste of this was good, but that I think exploring it a bit further will solidify our understanding and make us more comfortable with it. We won't need to do it long term and we may just transition into playing around with other couples, especially since she has shown interest in women now. But everything from this point forward will likely be just opportunity situations instead of actively looking. We did decide to go forward and have the experience with the Bull one more time at least, maybe a third, and even who knows how many more times, but the goal now is to just be happy with we have experienced.

• We ultimately learned that slow stepping into this was very important. The public nudity thing and just talking to people in the lifestyle helped in ways I can't even describe.
• There definitely needs to be rules before you dive right in. It's way too hard to decide things in the heat of the moment and that's where things can and will go wrong. We were careful, but even in that preparation, we were not expecting some things we later decided needed rules.
• The "Aftercare" is something that should never be neglected and is probably the most important part of this. You basically took a sledgehammer to your relationship and both you and your spouse need to look for any cracks and patch it back up to its former glory. If it's one sided and you don't get the needed aftercare, it'll most definitely be an issue later, I think.
• For us at least, a whole lot of realizations came out of this experience. After coming from a monogamous 24-year long relationship where I would have never thought of doing something like this, so many questions suddenly formed. These need to be defined and talked about. It's like being a newborn in a world where I had preconceived ideas that are clearly far off. Only experiencing this would make us understand how wrong so many of these ideas are.
• Biggest rule we had first and foremost was that none of this was important enough to change our relationship for the worst and that if anything went down a road where it looked like it might damage it long term, we'd halt it and stop entertaining anything like this. I think there's parts to this we won't be able to change now. Like being nude in front of others is both a turn on, and very liberating. Watching my wife check other women out and then later tell me what she would like to do to them was so hot, I told her I cannot explain how exciting that is. So even if we never progressed on any of that, I think we'd still love sitting with people chatting and being naked (I would just now understand why my wife is ogling the hot girl across from us and later have fun with that in mind). I doubt it'll turn into just that though and we'll likely just continue to have some fun when opportunity arises.

I don't know if I had a goal for this, but I think it's more or less me coming to grips with how all of this transpired and my organizing my emotional roller coaster so that I can understand what just happened. We've already planned a next session to happen and from what I know, the emotional feelings will be less of an issue. But we also know to really plan ahead and spend that heavy quality time with each other, petting, talking, and LOTS of sex. Basically, re-igniting the passion we feel for each other and letting each other know how important we are in our lives.

This is how it made our awesome relationship better and far more honest.

I hope this has some positive affect on anyone else who had a similar experience and I do hope it helps possibly keep together what should always have been a strong relationship maybe rattled by an experience that can easily cause pain in unexpected ways.