TL/dr version While my wife is engaged in a hot wife scenario with me present (but not actively participating) what is the etiquette for me while watching? Am I allowed to masterbate while watching? Or is the expectation that I watch only? When I cum, can I cum on her or not? Does that cross a line?

Longer version My wife and I have been exploring the lifestyle for almost a year. We’re lucky that we have two clubs in town which allowed us to ease into our exploration in a convenient way. It started mainly as exhibitionism and voyeurism at the club when we liked watching and being watched. It’s progressed to several soft swaps as well as a few MFM threesomes in the public playrooms. We both enjoyed those very much and are excited to try a hot wife scenario as I love showing her off and watching her get attention. Neither of us are into humiliation. I just think it’s hot as fuck to see her with other men.

I searched this subreddit but didn’t see the answer to my question which is, if we are in a hot wife scenario where she’s with another man and I am in the room, what is the etiquette for what I do. Am I only supposed to watch, fully clothed? Am I allowed to masterbate when things get hot? And, if I am allowed to masterbate, am I allowed to cum on my wife or am I supposed to keep that to myself?

I don’t want to be a creep by whipping it out but also know that I’m going to be turned on.

It probably comes down to communicating with the single guy, but I’m not even sure what to say. Do I say, “hey, while you’re fucking my wife I’ll probably be stroking my cock in the corner? And would you be okay if I blew my load on her tits?”

Thanks and be kind. Still new to this. May have the terminology wrong. But definitely have enjoyed learning from this group.