Just some advice please.

My wife and I have fantasised about the sharing element. Lots of hot roleplay and talk.

We went to a local club and realised the club scene us not for us. It just didn’t feel great at all. We can away from that disheartened but still spoke about on particular guy we met.

Wife made contact with him and we all chatted but it never went anywhere but fuelled our roleplay by putting a name to it.

We then met a guy that is the perfect fit. He is respectful and ticks all of the boxes. Non pushy and has been really cool with us newbies. We met and things progressed to the point of wife wearing a high split skirt and he put his hand on her bare leg as we talked. Just stroking nothing else. It was very hot for all involved.

We left and my wife and I talked and she was mixed and unhappy that I had let a man touch her without stopping. The chat then became about why I want this for her and us. Why I want to watch her pleasure. It’s a joint fantasy but all focus from my perspective is about her enjoying that third. We decided not to pursue it and we were both fine with our decision.

Fast forward some months and we have talked about it and she says she regrets it not going any further and we have again explored our feelings. We talk a lot. We have arranged to meet the guy again.

Is there anyone that has had this hot and cold start? Is this normal or are we not set for this? We don’t want to piss the guy off, respectful people are SO hard to find.

Any advice or your experience would be great.