Hello, I am not really new to the lifestyle. My husband and I have been together for 5 years and we've had 8 threesomes, 2 with girls 6 with guys and its his biggest fantasy but I could live without it. Every time we have a threesome I spiral and get anxious and feel paranoid and feel dirty. I just want him to be happy but during our last threesome I was SAed and the guy kept trying to put it in when we were waiting for my husband to get the condoms from the car that he forgot and its been a year since our last one but I still don't feel ready but I know my husband is and I feel guilty. He only likes doing MFM and I feel like I don't even like men anymore, they all feel mediocre and ugly to me because the only person I feel attraction to is my husband so how do I fix that? I can be a whore for my husband but when it comes to other men they just feel gross to me and I'm bi but leaning more towards liking women but he only likes to see me take bigger than him and it's just not fun, how do I make it fun?