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Has Anyone ever had a similar situation to this? Would it be wise to just call it off altogether and draw a line under it??
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My wife has voiced her feelings towards potentially having her first experience with an old friend of mine. She told me she is really attracted to him and admitted to having a thing for him back when we were friends around 8 years ago. This is something she denied at the time when i had my suspicions and asked her if she liked him. She has said that she only admitted to this now as back then we were never as open with each other as we are now and that nothing happened and it was just a crush. She thought i would have been mad. I suggested him to her now to show that i have her wants and needs as a priority and to show that even someone whom i had beef with isnt out of the question if it means she has a good time. Her face lit up when i mentioned him. This was the moment i knew that i was correct about her feeling way back. She told me this was the moment she knew my intentions were genuine as she knows how i feel about him and offering him showed her just that. She said he is the only person we know personally that she thinks she has sexual chemistry with and had thought of fucking him over the years and that a few friends of hers had fucked him and said he was amazing. Sober and drunk she says she does want to fuck him definitely, but a few times one as recent as last week she said in passing that infact she doesnt want to now she thinks. Only the week before she brought it up to me with excitement asking if i would be ok with her going to his place if he asked her after a party they will both be at in a few weeks to which i said yes. She said he gives her butterflies when she sees him but also hes a bad boy and she is intimidated by him also. Is the yes no a bad thing and something that could damage us in the instance she does it then afterwords is annoyed at herself for doing so ?

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I commend your take. I am left to wonder though how naive it may be or how much rationalization on both your parts.

It’s not typical to go from a place of not being forth coming about an attraction to not caring what the potential fallout may be.

All I can do is wish you the best and hope that this works out for you especially when there are a ton of other non-compromising options. It simply seems that there is much more than what’s on the surface. In the end you guys do what works best for you - I hope you do see that. You are very much a part of the collective “you”.

Hey buddy, there are too many red flags here to get a full green light.

Let’s start off with the fact that you are purposefully choosing a guy you had beef with as a first option. Why? What’s the real reason here? Be very honest with yourself.

It’s peculiar that you would be so selfless as to present an option that has any degree of ill will for any member of the marriage. Heres the thing- neither one of you knows how you are going to feel once it happens. You are thinking way too much with your desire to make it happen (so not a selfless as you may be trying to make yourself believe) that you are not seeing the potential risks. It seems almost so desperate to make it happen and convince her with some she may entertain that you are sacrificing your dignity. You had beef with this guy and then are going to seemingly out of the blue offer up your wife to fulfill some fantasy when there are so many other options if you both take the time to find one? WHY?!?!

Also, she has clearly been hot for him for sometime to the point that she kept it from you and may have u til you brought it up. How open and how evolved can you be if she didn’t bring this up. It sounds as if you had to coax her to be forthcoming YET she has no problem speaking to her girlfriends about what a great lay he is. Here is the thing with that - her denial by omission has already place him in her mind above you and she has done it again if she has discussed it with her friends and not with you. If you are ok with this then you are in the wrong sub. You are looking to be cuckled and fine with being humiliated.

This guy by both your admissions is a bad boy who has fucked around in your wives circle of friends. Your wife should be honored and protected, but you are willing to feed her to a wolf who may not have any discretion and could potentially out your wife.

Honestly, you are really need to think about what you are doing and have some respect for your wife and for yourself. This lifestyle demands honesty first with yourself and then with each other. Again, too many messy flags here. Not sure the risk is going to be worth the benefit. This will be forced.

Wishing you all the best!

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1 year ago