I’ve seen a lot of questions asking how they get their partner into the lifestyle and for me the most important is that the journey spikes the partners interest first before moving on to ensure the main focus is increased connection through something socially taboo.

So here is the rough timeline showing how both I and my wife embraced this potential nerve wracking lifestyle.

2013 - on a road trip, when discussing her best friends new boyfriend, my wife admited that she’d have loved to try sleeping with a black guy before meeting me. Instead of feeling jealous, I got rock hard and asked her to go into more detail.

2014 - after confessing to my wife that I would love to see her have sex with another guy, I got deep into MMF, MFM, swinging and hotwife porn. I always enjoyed writing erotica for my wife and the topics clearly shifted to this dynamic. My wife would really get into the stories but still didn’t see a world where we would become a hotwife couple in reality.

2015 - we brought the swinging and hotwife dynamic into roleplay. We tried double penetration using large dildos as an assistant. My wife started to realise she was a size queen and despite always saying that my cock was the biggest she could handle, we soon realised that, in reality, she needs something huge to bring on her next level orgasms. This progressed into fisting for a while.

2016 - we ventured onto nudist beaches. This was a total game changer. We have a beautiful nudist beach not far from where we live and we became regulars and still are. She started to feel so empowered being naked. She enjoyed people staring at her. And really likes the sheer volume of cocks. Especially the hard ones. Seeing guys get aroused by her (in my opinion) absolute goddess body was incredible for us both.

2017 - we went to our first swingers party. Now this was my first extremely risky move. At this point my wife was pregnant and had become extremely horny. I booked a Valentine’s Day erotic show, just guys and girls stripping but not like a “sex on stage” thing. However, afterwards the swingers evening begun and we didn’t strip or get involved we both got our first insight into the reality of the lifestyle. We watched for a long time and due to the pregnancy tiredness kicked in and we left.

2018 - this year was a dead year for our involvement in the lifestyle as our daughter was born, however towards the end of the year we started up the role play scenarios again.

2019 - it finally happened. We attended more swinger night evenings through Killing Kittens, but didn’t play with others. However we did find somewhere to fuck as a few people watched. We tried setting a few evenings up with different guys but never found someone who was either right for us or more than just words saying what they could do but not able to back them up. Eventually, we hired the perfect escort. He was incredible and is still our regular go to. Watching my wife’s nerves disappear as she thoroughly enjoyed her first experience. We tried a spit roast too which was way more than we thought we’d get to. Our expectation was that she may end up sucking another man’s dick. It went way beyond that.

2020 - this year was mad. We dove into loads of different dynamics and even experimented with some bisexual elements that my wife admitted really turned her on. Although Covid prevented us from going to parties, but we kept to the social distancing rules and really made the most of any lockdown breaks. We did a lot of very kinky things on our favourite nudist beach including meeting a few different guys there. My wife’s personal favourite experience was riding me in cowgirl position whilst giving one of the guys a blowjob. He shot a gigantic load over her face and tits before leaving us to fuck as my cum drenched wife rode me in the intense summer sun looking over the beach as we were generally protected from wider view by the sand dunes. Another favourite was double penetration as my wife rode the giant dick of our favourite escort and I slid into her ass. She came phenomenally quickly and squirted for only the 5th time in her life. Again my wife was pregnant this year which added to the kinkiness of what we did. Another one of my wife’s favourite was again with our escort. She was hugely pregnant and lactating massively, again a big kink of ours that we enjoyed playing with in the lifestyle. Our escort has a big kink for white, blonde, petite, yet heavily pregnant milfs. In an extremely kinky evening our escort breastfed from my wife whilst I fucked her, we both fucked her pussy at the same time and she even took a huge creampie from him, which I cleaned up.

2021 - again, a year out of the lifestyle as our son was born. Took a very long time for us to get things back on track.

2022 - most of this year, we worked on our sex life in general as life with two kids continued to prove very testing for our relationship as a whole and obviously sex life. Towards the end of the year we got things back on track on all levels and started to roleplay with new toys and especially enjoyed the double penetration element.

2023 - this year my wife has still been coming to terms with her mum bod but we continued to build on our relationship, eventually getting our escort back into play as we experimented with more of our other broad range of kinks as our escort really embraced our dynamic. Having another man so hugely turned on by my wife’s body really helped her build back confidence and he really is the perfect guy for us. He fits my wife’s size queen needs, embracing all of our unusual kinks and being bi helped us experience a new dynamic that my wife loves to see when she needs a cock break.

I hope this helps people see that the journey is worth chasing and can always have ups and downs. But for me, the key is to ensure that you’re trying to improve connection, and not just trying to sneak monogamy out of the relationship.

The best part of all of this has been the reconnecting part. It has sometimes felt like falling in love all over again, despite already being utterly besotted and in love with her already. Something about passionately kissing and holding each other whilst her pussy is full of another guys cum is the most connecting thing I could have ever felt in my life.

I hope others have felt this too and anyone warming to the lifestyle appreciates.