So my (39m) partner (37f) hooked up with a guy today but it may end our relationship.

She and I have done this in the past. A few times it was fine, she hooked up with all the guys one on one but a few times after that, it was enough to stop.

She and I have discussed some rules but she has never followed them.

My biggest issue was her check in. One time she went to Canada and met up with a guy and checked in with me when they first met but then had to drive to his place a ways away, into the country. I didn’t hear from her again until after midnight. Anxiety attack later, worried that she was ok, alive. That was horrible for me. And the only reason I got a call back was because I messaged the guy via Facebook. My very simple request. She checks in- one text or call- “met the guy” and another check-in “he seems cool, we are at his place, ttyl” that’s all I wanted at the time.

We stopped. Especially because she started lying to me about a guy she was seeing. Almost 10 years later- the present- we’ve talked about doing it again for a while but this time, rules and check-in, check-in, check-in! It seemed to me like we had matured about it. It seemed like she would for sure communicate with me better this time.

I was wrong. Not only did she hook up with a guy I wasn’t fully comfortable with from the beginning although eventually I ok’ed. She said she would not feel comfortable sleeping with him if she didn’t know the details about his marriage. They were suppose to hang out and he was suppose catch a flight at 5pm, kind of a day thing. And they would get to know each other and she would find out more about his situation.

One; she didn’t tell me they changed plans to idk after six?? He canceled his five o-clock flight.

Two, then I didn’t know if I could go straight home after work because they may be at the house. The last thing I knew, I could probably go home at 4:30 because he would be on his way already. I asked her what I should do at 4:25… no response.

I didn’t get a reply until after 5:30, they had sex several times and she didn’t get my message so I didn’t know if I could go home after work. So I waited around tired and wanting a shower and almost drove home assuming he had caught his flight. By the time I called, they had to rush to get ready and she drove him to his new destination. I got home right after they left at six, confused, no longer excited or turned on.

I am almost in disbelief that she has done it again. Crap check-in, no heads up about the change of schedule. She hadn’t considered how awkward it would have been for both he and I, if I walked in the front door, he fucking my girl right there in the living room. He and I didn’t know each other, and we never discussed meeting. Luckily after my texts weren’t being delivered, I called the house phone and had to leave a message, they heard on the machine. I could have gotten over the check-in issue but she also slept with him without knowing if his wife was ok with it. I have a couple of rules and one is, I would not sleep with a married woman cheating. Especially since in his case, they have a fucking family! Teens to 27 still all at home. Wtf was she thinking!!??

And my one request, “if he can’t take a picture of his dick in you, he can’t have sex with you” that was something I told her about any guys in general. Never got a picture btw.

Maybe this isn’t reason enough to split up but I don’t know how I can let this one go. Through this she has proven to me how little concern she has for my requests or for my feelings. On top of it, she is ok being a potential home-wrecker!! News to me.

Btw, she doesn’t like the idea of me being with other woman, so only she could play. I agreed to those rules except I would never in million years abuse this privilege the way she has. I don’t know if I can look at her the same anymore.