My wife (F28) and I (M31) haven been together for 5 years, married for one. About a year ago I told my wife about my kink to share her, at first she did not like this the usual stuff affirmed her I did not want anybody else but her, she was my priority and her turning on turned me on etc. We did all the wrong things at the beginning no rule eventually we open tinder, (no mention she was married) friends saw this and thought she was cheating convince them she was catfished. It only lasted about a month but had sex everyday for that month we both enjoyed this, talking about it the farthest we got was she sexted a guy while I went down on her. I became obsessed and fuck it up, she ask to stop and if we could have sex without me bringing it up. I never touched the subject again.

We got into an awesome period in our marriage having sex twice a day for like 2 months and this caused a mayor change in our dynamic. Causing us to have raw carnage mindless sex. At the beginning of our relationship she told me she doesn’t like being insulted during sex but at one point while having the best sex I pour hot wax from a candle which she loved and it just comes out I say, “I love how hot she was I love I married a slut, who fucks so good, best I have ever had”. She really got turned on at the moment and I continued. Afterwords we talked and she said she was surprised by herself it was the right moment type of thing, she enjoyed this but not make it a habit. It just started escalating trying new stuff from here.

She is leaving for 3 weeks in about a month, 2 weeks to a yoga/wellness retreat in India and 1 week to visit her friend with a long weekend get away in Bali. Last night we were drunk and obviously had hard rough sex, in the act she mentions,” I’m going to miss this so much”. I drunk and very stupid say you know you can fuck however you want turns me on. She smiled and said, “oh yeah, you want that? Maybe I will get fucked by a stranger in a bikini” this made me cum immediately. As we were cleaning up I mentioned if she wanted to have sex in her trip and said hadn’t thought about it till now but was not against it. Just didn’t want the pressure if she felt comfortable and it was a right time and place thing would not be against but what would she tell her friend? Caught me off guard told her she could just say I gave her a hall pass for this trip but never to mention this to anybody which I now know was a bad response. Last thing I said is I need three rules must be a safe, tell me beforehand for me to approve, and have fun. We went to sleep, I woke up early and am writing this, have already thought about this and I believe I would be ok and excited for this but now what? I want to take it slow but

1. What can I do or say make her feel safe in our relationship
   1. How to continue exploring this even if it doesn’t happen in this trip and not fuck it up like last time.