I have had a fantasy of watching the woman I am with be with another man since I was in my late teens (I am 46 now). My wife and I have known each other for nearly 20 years, have been together in a monogamous relationship for 8 years, 3 of which have been spent married. Immediately into our dating relationship I expressed my interest in watching her with another man and was caught off guard by her interest in exploring it, since no other woman I have asked has ever shown interest. It has not happened yet because she has always been extremely concerned about how to make it happen, her need to establish a connection with the other man, and establishing trust before taking that first step. After 8 years together we have never acted on this. In fact, our relationship has been in a very bad place for the last 2 years. A bad enough place that she and I have had sex with each other only 5 times in the span of those 2 years. 4 days ago my wife came to me and told me that she had recently found out that a close male friend of hers that she has been attracted to since she first met him has been exploring his interest in being in an monogamish relationship, which led to him telling her that he would be interested in exploring with us. In the meantime she has been exploring her sexuality and has connected with it in a way that she has fully owned the “label” of being a slut and feels the desire and need to explore sex with other men...as many as she can, by her account. We have been getting along the best we have in years since she told me this. I had a bit of a pa in attack the first day, but gained my wits and we have been communicating overall the most openly we ever have in our relationship, and have been discussing all the things regarding entering this lifestyle. She has now told me that this needs to happen. For our entire relationship I have expressed interest in this and now that she is ready she is detecting my fear in the reality that the time is here. I am doubting my desire to actually watch her and am questioning whether or not this has always just been a fantasy not intended to be fulfilled. She has let me know that I have self work that I need to take care of and she is allowing time for me to do so but this is going to happen. We have agreed when this happens, if any 3 of us is uncomfortable we will respect whomever’s feelings and will stop. However, she is not willing to accept a firm, “we will never do that again”. She has also said that although I am an incredible lover, she will not feel fulfilled without us having a monogamish relationship and ultimately, she needs other men in some fashion. I am feeling like I have allowed Pandora’s Box to be opened and I am now faced with working on myself and my sexuality in hopes that my confidence and security allows me to jump on board and say, “Let’s do this!”, and will desire to continue to do so or I run the risk of my wife moving on at some point. I want nothing more than to meet my wife’s needs and fulfill my fantasies without being bothered by it, especially to the point of admitting that I can’t go through with it. I am interested in any advice or feedback that anyone is willing to share. Help, please. Thank you.