So, this is not a sexy post. Sorry.

My wife has been fucking other guys for seven of the eight years we’ve been married. She is naturally promiscuous and could never be monogamous. She does this for herself but does enjoy that I get off on it.

We’ve worked out most of the kinks (pun intended) of our arrangement, but as much as I definitely get off on her shenanigans, for a few days after, I experience lowered self-esteem, shame that I encourage my wife to get fucked, etc — and it sounds very similar to the emotional side of what those in the BDSM community call “sub drop.”

This phenomenon seems proportionally tied to my wife’s behavior: it is more intense for me when what my wife has been up to is more intense. For instance, her current lover can come and stay hard/fuck her again several times a night. On top of the normal humiliation of knowing I could never perform like that, I am also ashamed that fact about myself turns me on.

Maybe this is just part of the deal for guys like us, but I thought it was worth bringing up in case anyone else is struggling with this or has suggestions on how to deal with it. Thanks in advance for your time and ideas.