See my previous post for more updates.

For the second night in a row my wife and I had a heart to heart about her past and it’s impact on our sex life. Last night she re brought up the subject and apologized for her feeling of not being sexual enough with me. Again she explained it’s hard for her to get into that mindset with me bc sex with me she views as very emotional and beautiful versus the sex she enjoyed with her ex. I told her I understand that and how she has negative thoughts about that time. She admitted that she does fantasize about that type of sex still often and has masturbated to that idea, which was news to me. I never thought she masturbated. But again there’s just a ton of guilt here bc she associates that great time of sex with a shitty person. I ensured her that one person should not shape her perception of something like that.

I asked what he did in the bedroom that was so good and different and this is where she finally opened up a lot. So what was a huge reg flag of him being controlling, dominant, and manipulative, worked wonders for her in the bedroom. He would suggest things and push her limits and she found that while she’d be initially uncomfortable that it was also a huge turn on and she enjoyed several of the things they did. She really enjoyed being submissive with him which is counter to her personality, especially with me.

She did mention that my personality is just so different and she loves that and it would be hard for her to see me in that same way.

Anyways that’s where we left off last night. I told her I love her and I want her to be comfortable with sex with me how she wants it but that I’d love to help her explore her old sexuality kinks however she is comfortable if ever.