It would be hard to write a concise update since this hotwife journey has been a long and wild one but since I haven’t written any sort of date night update in awhile I thought I’d start there.

It’s actually quite a tame or boring update as I’m still meeting up with the same friend with benefits but here we go nonetheless.

Our most recent dates have pretty much been hotel dates as I’ve found a great boutique-esque hotel somewhat close to home that I just adore. I’m an anxious mess just living daily life so date nights make me a little ‘extra’. This hotel has gorgeous rooms with balconies so I can step out and smoke a joint and have a few moments to chill the fuck out, also the view is killer from the balcony. One of the things that changed for us over time is that our kids are quite a bit older now and that means that I’m able to book a 2 night stay more often, so that’s what I’ve been doing. This last date I had a girlfriend staying at the same hotel (last minute idea on her part) so I was able to have dinner and drinks and just hang out with a friend in between hanging out with my date. Gotta say, it was a lovely change of pace and I really appreciate the time away to catch up with friends over drinks at the hotel bar.

Since I had booked the room I was able to get there first and get settled, this time that entailed breaking out the lingerie and toys. A benefit of a repeat partner is that we get to ‘play’ when we play so incorporating toys has been a fun addition. This being the first date since the holidays he mentioned he had picked out some toys that he thought would be fun, I’m not one to turn down a gift so I was excited to see what he brought. Until he got there I enjoyed my peace and quiet to the fullest. Trashy hotel tv, wine and convenience store snacks, j’s rolled and ready to go and a huge fluffy bed, it’s basically heaven. So I enjoyed my time, dressed up and took some pics for snap and sent a preview or two to my date. By the time he got there I was fully and blissfully in the ‘hotel weekend’ mindset. I guess we kinda have a routine at this point, we’ve met up dozens and dozens of times. We caught up on the latest while we shared some wine and half watched whatever movie or series happened to be on. I prefer being able to be laid back and just hang out with someone, it’s awkward for me to show up, fuck and leave, so I always enjoy when we have time to chill and have some drinks. There were presents to be played with though so we didn’t waste much time getting to those. My favorite of the night was a lovesense lush toy. Lemme tell ya, get one! Not only are they quiet and strong, it’s fun to let someone else control it while you lay back and fully enjoy. There were also vibrators, cock rings, some fancy lubes and an uber cute holiday lingerie set. We enjoyed the lot throughout the night and the following day. At some point he had to step out for a bit so I took the opportunity to throw on the xmas set and waited for him to return. I think he enjoyed the surprise. Usually lingerie comes off but it was fun to keep this one on and get fucked in it, Santa hat and all.

Some random info

This friend does know I’m a hotwife. She also knew I had a date night. She was fine with it when I bounced from dinner and drinks to get laid, she even took me out for bagels and coffee the morning after since I didn’t have my car. She didn’t meet my date or ask details, not the kind of friend that I would do that with but she thinks it’s all great and has definitely opened up her mind about what she wants out of dating/relationships.

My husband drove me to and picked me up from this date. Usually I drive myself but I’ve had several months of the worst car luck ever. Seriously, I broke down several times in the middle of the George Washington Bridge, had one car have an engine die on the highway, my husband and kid got T-Boned in our 2nd car, the list goes on…it’s been rough on the auto front. So in order to not leave them without a car for 2 days he brought me there, brought my 8,008 bags to my room and then picked me up 2 days later. When I talk about being supportive of your wife, this is the kind of thing I mean. He didn’t want me to cancel or change plans, we made it work, he took the extra time to get me there and back and it was very lovely of him and very much appreciated.

Some things I liked and didn’t

Loved the hotel, like so much. I really like having a balcony and I don’t know how I’ll stay anywhere else now because it really makes a huge difference in my anxiety which then affects how much I enjoy my night vs stressing about it.

I liked having some new toys to play with. He bought a clone a willy and that was a total fail but it was funny and fun so really kinda a win. The other goodies he brought were fun to try out and it’s a nice reminder why I enjoy repeat encounters.

Having 2 days. I’m fine with 1 night away every so often, I’m aware of how lucky I am to get that but having 2 days is a mental shift that I can get behind. I wasn’t getting there just to fuck, sleep, pack and go; I had time to enjoy the weeknd, take some naps, relax, explore, etc without looking at the clock. This is much more a mom and wife thing than a hotwife thing but many of us have that crossover and having a break from the day to day is lovely and rejuvenating.

Always like catching up. My fwb has a girlfriend that he’s head over heels for and since we’ve known each other for years now it’s nice to have that impartial outside view and be able to talk about relationships, work, life, etc. Also it’s nice that we both have to excuse ourselves to call home and check in at home. I don’t feel awkward being like ok gotta go stand in the hall and call my husband, which I’d do anyway, but it’s nice that we both can check in with our people before bed.

Didn’t love that I’m still an anxious and insecure human. Working on it but ugh, it is work. Between quarantine, anxiety meds, and just life I’m not my best and I still get in my own head.By now I’d like to be more comfortable with lingerie and getting good clear videos, especially since this hotel has great views and lighting. It is what it is. Also kinda tying into the above since the fwb is in a serious relationship now it’s time for me to meet new people and it’s especially hard when you’re not feeling tip top so while I’m enjoying the time I have left there’s a looming annoyance that I have to start all over. I fully plan to make the best of it and find some new folks to get to know but I have a whole other host of issues around that.

Didn’t love that I had to leave the hotel bed and pillows. Okay, that might be the weed, wine and fucking but the pillows play a part too. If you know how to smuggle out a hotel pillow let me know because I’ve never slept so well.

Overall the update is I’m still out there, having fun and getting laid. Dynamics have changed in many ways, more than I can list here but for the most part things are the same. I’m forever appreciative that my husband is always down for me to have a night or two to have a date. The initial rollercoaster of emotions we had early on is gone. Talking of wanting a date night, planning on or going on one doesn't give me the same kind of anxiety (still have it but it’s different). My husband enjoys the nights I’m out and games to his heart's content and watches all the shows and movies that I’m too scared to watch with him. I still lie through my teeth to the family and tell everyone I’m going to a girlfriends or working on a late night event to help a friend. Pretty much all of my friends know I’m a hotwife and are supportive so I tell them when I have a date, they enjoy my wine induced rants to them in the group chat. I’ve used date nights and this whole hotwife thing to get more comfortable with doing things separate from my husband (I’m a codependent mofo) and I can say it’s definitely worked. Date nights will always make me nervous and I’ll always have lots of extra communication surrounding one but it’s helped me say yes to more opportunities with friends that I otherwise would have been too shy to do.

Another day and another post will have to capture all things that have changed over the years of participating in this lifestyle but for now that’s what a typical date night is like for me. I still get nervous, I still hope to not be ghosted, I still do all the stuff before a date to appease my guilt for taking a night off, I still feel guilty. I also still enjoy the build up, I love when the nerves go away and I can just be excited for a date, I love the drive to and from a date, I love that first time I cum and my brain goes ‘oh yeah, that’s why I put up with all the anxiety’. I really love this lifestyle, not only for the personal freedom it affords but for the endless opportunities for growth, communication and self reflection. I don’t think that will ever change no matter how many updates I share.