The terms used in this lifestyle help individuals pinpoint their interests and roles they wish to play in it.

The term bull is helpful in labeling the outside male of which the couple seeks to include in their sexual experiences. HOWEVER, the term carries a certain connotation of sexual dominance and superiority that is more aligned to the sensibilities and interests of Cuckolding lifestyle, more so than that of Hotwife lifestyle couples seeking equality in sexual power dynamics.

The term stag, currently, is helpful in labeling the husband of the Hotwife. Specifically, detailing their interest in the lifestyle based on principles of self confidence, passion for their wives, and camaraderie with fellow men that show appreciation and lust for their wives. The Stag is not a cuckold, specifically confident in their connection with their wives on a romantic, sexual and relationship level. They do not pursue based on feeling they need to find someone better for their wife sexually, but instead different and new. Stags are proud of their sexual prowess and ability to satisfy their hotwives themselves. They are not incompetent by any means, just share a certain level of voyeurism and appreciation of their sexy wives.

The single men that engage in this lifestyle come in many different shapes, sizes, and life experience. There is a significant population of these single men that were once Stags in practice or in fantasy as well in past relationships, whether now divorced or broken up from long term relationships. However due to their single status and pursue of hotwives, they now engage in the lifestyle as the “third”. These men from their own perspective may not view themselves or feel the term bull is something that identifies them in the lifestyle. They share the same prowess and skill of the Stag, don’t approach with mentality of dominating a couple but rather sharing a meaningful erotic experience.

That’s why I propose a distinction is necessary that more appropriately labels the role, interests and identity of the single men of this lifestyle. I think the term Stag is appropriate connotation of the men that engage in this lifestyle as a whole. However, could have the following proposed distinctions:

Married Stag- The husband of a Hotwife. Is confident and sure about their own sexual prowess and skill to please their wives sexually.

Single Stag- The single male that engages sexually with Hotwife couples. Shares same confidence about their abilities to pleasure women.

Bull- Single male that engages sexually with Hotwife couples, characterized by focus on dominance and exerting physical/sexual abilities viewed superior by the couple they engage with.

This is all really a theoretical exercise, and if you disagree with my proposed terms distinctions and may have your own, please feel free to discuss and get to the bottom of this. This lifestyle is growing in its participants diversity and kinks, and having terminology that is precise can help all navigate these kinky waters.

P.S.

There is definitely a worthy follow up second part to discuss whether Hotwives themselves should have the option of expanding their distinction based on their own interests and identity/approach to the lifestyle.