Hi everyone,

So I have lurked around here for a little while. A little history, I knew I was into hotwifing a few years back, when I bought my wife a dildo and used it on her while blindfolded on our wedding night. The surprise she had and excitement was really when my mind started to wander into this territory.

I was always wondering how to bring it up and figured that the best way, was during sex but after she had a few drinks because it always made her hornier. And I did with some success, seemingly turning her on but once she was sober, the next morning she would say "I don't think I could do that". I think I should mention that I am her only partner so I can see why she would hesitate.

Over time I would mention it sneakingly here and there while bringing out a dildo into play. She would love it so I knew there was some hope. A couple weeks back, after a few drinks once again, something came over her. She asked me to bring the dildo out but also said that she wanted me to tell her EXACTLY what to do because she liked it when I was in control. Mind you, this is after a few years of marriage and I am seeing a side I did not know existed. I started with her giving me a blowjob and said "I wish I could fuck your mouth and your pussy at the same time" and my fingers could feel how wet she got. Once I started fucking her, the dildo she was holding onto, I told her to suck it and man DID SHE EVER. I was kind of surprised... But once again, no conversation about it the next day or after.

NOW last night, we had an hour long fuck fest after a few drinks. And I talked to her, told her how seeing a cock in her mouth makes me horny because she looks so good like that. She whispered "tell me more". I did, told her everything: I am not into cuckold, i would like to be there and join in every single time and that there was no going behind my back etc... laid out my ground rules. and she said to me that she would only do it if I did the same with a girl.

I told her that its not about being with another girl and that I just enjoy seeing her pleased but she insisted. She also expressed that she is willing to try, but is scared and when I asked why, she said "because I am afraid I will like it too much".

My questions are this:

How do I handle the situation with doing the same with another girl? Is her fear of liking it too much a red flag (as I do not want to lose her in any way)? Finally, when pursuing this, what is the next steps (where do we find a third? Is Doublelist any good?) ?

Thanks!!