A little backstory: A long time ago, when my hotwife was just my girlfriend, I was hanging out at the bars with a friend of questionable morals. I told him this other girl had been texting me, and he encouraged me to have her join us. It ended in me cheating on my girlfriend.

Now, I thought he was just trying to facilitate the same kind of infidelity he committed in his own relationship, but my wife has always been convinced he was trying to break us up so he could make a move on her.

Fast forward a decade, and he may be validating that belief.

I recently convinced my wife that Instagram stories are where it's at. Our (now married) friend had never commented on one of her posts, but her very first story – and nearly every since – he responded to in a DM. Became very clear early on what he wanted, and in the past week or two, it's really escalated from innuendo and double entendre to more or less direct sexual interest.

The point: He mentioned me for the first time last night, in a "too bad he's there" sort of way. She ignored it, but we're both wondering now if he thinks he's leading her info cuckolding me. Cucking is something we DEFINITELY aren't into.

So my question: Do we just lay it out? She's a hotwife, I know everything that's been going on? Do I message him about it to establish that I'm a part of? Do we try to find out if his marriage allows for this? Do we risk either scaring him away too early or indicating that something is definitely going to happen when we haven't decided yet that it's going to become physical with him?

Very mixed feelings. I'm thrilled a friend wants to fuck my wife. I'm kind of bummed it seems like he wouldn't care if it hurt me.

TL;DR: Friend seems like he wants my wife to cheat on me. Not sure how to proceed.