Posting to the hotwife/wife sharing subs is not a baby step.

I realize that by saying so I’m being quite hypocritical as I myself have often advised couples that are new to use posting photos as a way to dip your toes in. It’s fun and exciting and the positive reinforcement is encouraging so it seems like a win/win. Except it isn't really. Like every post I’ve ever posted here this is purely based on my personal experience. That said I’ve been posting for almost 2 years and have a few insights that those who are new may not have/have thought of.

So here’s my case for the above statement.

I’m aware that I’m about to sound like such a cunt and humblebrag but hear me out. I’m genuinely thinking of the husbands here who write me asking for advice, they don’t know quite what to expect with this kink, who want to help nudge their wife into trying this and those that want their wives to get a bit of a confidence boost. Since day one of posting here my inbox has been insane. Thousands of messages, pictures, offers, etc. It’s all very flattering and I’m not complaining but I do want to provide a realistic picture of what’s ‘behind the scenes’ when you post because based on the husbands I hear from they aren’t expecting anything even close to the reality.

Most husbands assume that by posting a pic with his wife they'll receive kind words, maybe someone local to play with will get in touch, and maybe some tips/advice and of course dick pics (but that’s another story). The reality is pretty much all of that... times 1000. If I so much as mention a slight desire to do or try something I’ll have a dozen messages about it within a few days. Again I know this comes off as such a ridiculous thing but I promise I do have a point here. My point is that this isn’t really ‘baby step’ level stuff. I think for those who are starting out it’s just overwhelming and ultimately it’s distracting from a time that should be about actually taking baby steps towards the goal of making this a reality. Baby steps are awesome and I wish I knew when we started that we should have taken them instead of jumping right in. We should have savored that time because it’s fun and hot and we’d be able to tackle issues like jealousy and insecurity on a small scale before going right to having my every wish and desire fulfilled and having to communicate about how that affects us, what that means to me, how that makes us each feel. There’s so many emotions and feelings that come up (unexpectedly) and when you go from 0-60 it’s difficult to process everything one step at a time. We joke that it’s like signing up for tee ball and getting pushed out to bat for the Yankees.

As a husband if you struggle with either already feeling a little jealous or apprehension then how will you feel when you’re wife is bombarded with offers from hot, fit, successful and incredibly attractive men? The guys who look like adonis, can give her anything on a silver platter, have the cock of an exceptionally well hung horse, and are at the top of their game professionally and/or personally. Hopefully you’ll feel awesome but it’s a lot to wrap your head around. It’s one thing to think she’ll be fucking the hot barista at your coffee place and another for her to be whisked off on the date of lifetime complete with incredibly handsome successful guy who has a shit ton of money, a ton of time and a third arm for a cock. Personally I think it’s all very shallow and if you think your wife will run off with someone just because they have deeper pockets or a bigger dick then this kink as a whole isn’t for you. If you think it might make you feel slightly more insecure then this post is for you. I’ve found that there’s men across all races, ages and socioeconomic status that are into this kink. So many ( I mean so so many) guys are really turned on by the hotwife fantasy and will pull out all the stops to make it happen for themselves. I get it and I think it’s awesome that so many people enjoy this kink and want to learn more, talk about it and experience it but to be on the receiving end of that desire can be overwhelming. When everyday you have at least a dozen new offers/messages that come your way you start to consider them all. Even if it’s only because they’re so out of left field or whatever you still discuss it together and that’s where it feels like it that’s when it stops being a baby step. Going from maybe trying out this kink to considering if you’d want to go to that crazy masquerade orgy next weekend (or ever) is a big step. All the offers are so kind and generous and I don’t want to dismiss that and I’ve even taken a few people up on them but it’s not step one kind of stuff. I feel like it just puts a lot of extra details and what ifs into your mind. All the sudden there’s all these new ideas and fantasies and scenarios to consider, to talk about, to weigh and yet it's the time when you’d be better off defining for yourself what you want and how you want to experience this kink as a couple. My husband is super supportive and very confident but it even hit us harder than we expected to have to wade through all this new info and new offers and new correspondence. We felt like we were always reacting instead of being proactive and deciding what we wanted and seeking it out.

So if any of that hits close to home than here’s what I suggest, start small and start in person or on a dating site. You’ll still get some crazy offers but nothing like the response you get on reddit (worldwide community and all). If we could start from scratch I’d be out playing pool, flirting, getting numbers, having extra sexy girl nights outs, etc. Each step just pushing the boundaries a little, coming home and seeing how it feels and seeing if we want to keep moving forward. In the end the way we did things works for us and until I build a time machine I can’t start from step one again but if I could I’d take it down a notch and keep it ‘local’.

Since I feel like I kinda shit all over the wonderful folks who have gotten in touch I have to add that I genuinely am flattered by the response to our posts, pics and videos. I love that reddit provides this place where like minded people can come together, meet up and share ideas. I think that the offers are amazing and like I’ve said I’ve taken a few people up on them. Some of my best and all time favorite experiences have been with redditors and I’m extremely grateful for those. I’ve had a long held fantasy fulfilled, met amazing people and been fucked every which way to Tuesday and I love it. I owe this community a world of thanks for making my hotwife experiences so much fun. Now that we’ve been doing it for a minute those are the types of things we’re looking for and welcome new and unusual experiences but at first it’s just a lot to take it. It was hard on my husband, it pushed communication and boundaries a bit further and faster than we were ready for. So if you’re still on the fence it’s something to consider before moving forward.