So recently my husband and I were talking about what makes an experience a great one vs. just a ‘meh’ one…obviously there’s a lot of factors but we realized that it all boiled down to how comfortable I am when I'm meeting someone. So these are all things that make a difference in making me (and my husband) feel at ease and excited about meeting someone new. This is purely my opinion and based on our experiences, I'm aware that every couple plays in vastly different ways with unique rules & preferences.

Condoms: Safety first so have them ready. I always have plenty but I leave it up to whoever I’m meeting to know what works best for them. I prefer if they're not pulled out of a pocket or wallet, I just love the sound of that cardboard box being opened for the first time! Think of it as an auditory aphrodisiac and buy some condoms on your way. 3 packs are kind of a joke imo, no need to haul a jumbo monster warehouse club sized pack but bring enough and then some more for backup.

Don’t send/take pics with guns in them, at least not to me. If you're an avid hunter that’s great and fine but sending a photo in your deer blood soaked camouflage and ginormous rifle is intimidating to put it mildly. Also just having guns (or any weapons) in selfies is not the best idea imo. About those selfies….1.) Smile in them and 2.) What’s with the toilets in the background, enough of that nonsense. Leave the room and find another mirror. I love getting pics and I'll happily take what you send but if you want me to imagine fucking you keep it classy. If you need ideas browse through r/ladybonersgw, some of those guys know what’s up.

If you enjoy or even just don’t mind chatting with the husband then offer to do so, it’s not something every couple wants but it’s nice to know that you're comfortable with it and willing to make sure my husband is cool with you before we meet. So far everyone that’s been in touch with my hubby has received tips and tricks and nothing but kind words from him. Even if they don’t take you up on it the offer is a reassuring gesture but if they do take you up on it then be prepared to follow through.

Incoming Safety WOT

Basically, I don't want to feel unsafe at any point when I'm in your company and I don't want any last minute surprises. As an example, if I see 10 cars in your driveway and you told me you live alone, I’m turning around and going home before 9 of your friend’s make a surprise appearance. If you have roommates, even if they won't be home, tell the person you're meeting so they won't be surprised by an extra car or 10 in the driveway or anything like that. Also if you have pets, tell the people you're inviting into your home, not everyone will feel comfortable around your Bull Mastiff lap dog.

I’m not sure if you young (and not so young) men realize that for us ladies it takes a huge amount of trust to walk into this situation as a ‘hotwife’. The reality of the situation is that I'm a woman showing up to meet you…alone. I don’t meet people that I feel unsafe or unsure of but safety is still always top priority and always on my mind. I happen to like guys who are dominant, tall, muscular (not strictly but it’s a trend) and it’s a little nerve wrecking to knock on someone’s door knowing that I'm most likely at a physical disadvantage. You may be the nicest person in the world (hell, your friends even call you Mr.Rogers) but I don't know that yet. Realize that making us ladies feel safe when we're throwing ourselves into this new situation will go a long way in your favor.

Also when you're texting and getting to know a hotwife it might not be a great idea to tell them you want to keep them for a week, never let them leave, etc…while it’s flattering that you think you could put up with me for a week it can go from amusing to creepy real quick. At best you'll be a pain at the end of the night when I'm ready to head back to my husband and at worst you'll keep me for a week and I'm not up for being held against my will. So yeah, it’s a fine line and best to not chance it.

Gentlemen please verify yourselves….we've been catfished and it sucks so hard! So offer your hotwife a verification pic to ease her mind that she’s really meeting the guy she thinks. I usually ask for a live pic, nothing from the gallery on your phone. Then she won't have to have the thought in the back of her mind that you're a fake and she can just be excited and turned on at the idea of meeting and fucking you.

If you're having drinks at home…open the bottle in front of her. If you're at a bar/hotel get the drinks with her then go back to your table. I don't want to wonder if my drink is safe so I usually bring wine or something for us to share. Some people are insistent on taking care of everything or I don't have time pick something up and in those cases I really appreciate it if I see them open up the bottle and pour drinks in front of me. If I don’t watch you pour them I just might switch drinks with you sneakily; if you pass out then I’ll be glad I switched and if not then I’m just neurotic and I'm OK with that. No harm done.

If you're willing or able to do anything to make meeting up easier than say so and follow through. The couple you're meeting will appreciate it and when they're happy and feeling good about meeting then she'll probably be more relaxed and you'll have a much better time.

-If you'll drive to meet halfway, or the whole way…offer to do so. I hate the back and forth of having to feel out where/when/how the person wants to meet. If you have a preference let it be known, ask theirs and figure out what works best for all involved.

-If you’ll arrange and take care of the hotel offer to do it and then plan it (with her input) but don't be a bother about it. I had a FWB that straight out said he'd love to get a hotel for us since he couldn't host at home, it would be a pleasure for him to pay for the room and within the hour sent me links to 3 different hotels and I picked the one I liked the most. It was so easy and my husband and I loved that he took care of everything without us having to stress over finding a place, figuring out the details or having to ask about his budget for a hotel. He made it clear that he wanted to pay, get the room and all I had to do was show up and enjoy myself. On the other hand, I had plans to meet someone at a hotel, he picked the place (a creepy little motel in the middle of nowhere) but didn't make a reservation and when he got there and was denied a room he called me to throw down my credit card for the room or find a new place to meet. I was walking out of the door to meet him at the first hotel when this happened. I had to jump online and look for places, call around trying to find a room and all that. Not a huge deal but it’s awkward to ask what kind of place he can afford, what kind of ID and credit card did he have on him, etc… I quickly realized it wasn't worth the stress and cancelled (other bad vibes too but that was just the tipping point). So don't do that.

Now if you're broke as a joke then don’t offer at all or offer to split a hotel and meet in the middle. If you can't book a room at the Ritz every weekend for fucking hotwives that’s fine; find a few places that are clean, well known, in a busy/safe area and within your budget and let them choose.

While we're on the topic of hotels you should leave a key in my name at the front desk. Another silly little thing but it’s something I always ask for. I want the person at the desk to see me there, know my name and know where I was going; I want the cameras to see my smiling face when I walk to your room (just in case).

As soon as you know the room number let the couple know. My husband likes to know that he can get in touch if he needs to and if it’s urgent he shouldn't have to waste time figuring it out.

I know it’s a fairly random collection of safety and comfort preferences and advice, based on my experience, and I could go on on but I won't. Take what you will and leave the rest. For me personally if I feel safe, comfortable and at ease with you then the sex is going to be off the charts amazing. We do our part to make sure that happens and when the guys I meet do as well it's made for very memorable, fun times for all.