My (F36) husband (M39) and I have been talking recently about the idea of a threesome with another man, and potentially trying out a hotwife situation. We're both a long way from anything happening and would like to explore “baby steps” before we get started.

I was thinking about potentially having a couple’s massage together as a ‘first step’, a masseur for me and a masseuse for him. I’ve only had a real massage once before, so it’d be refreshing to have another man’s hands on me for the first time and to see how he reacts. We definitely would not try anything sexual with our therapists, we know they’re professionals.

When I asked my husband how he’d feel if I got a massage from another man, he assured that he wouldn’t be jealous and that he actually finds the idea hot. So I'd like to try this out to give us a safe opportunity to make sure that’s true and check if any insecurities come up.

I was just wondering if any other couples have done small steps similar to this before trying threesomes or swinging? We’re very new, so I’m open to any tips from former vanilla couples would be appreciated. Thanks!