I posted three years ago my thoughts on venturing into this lifestyle with my boyfriend and thought an update was appropriate. I’m glad that we took our time and made an effort early on about our expectations.

TLDR: It is my opinion that I benefit more from this lifestyle than he does. I wouldn’t say our sex life has gotten spicier, but it’s always been a healthy and “spicy” to begin with. He’s definitely much more aroused when he tells me about the videos I send him. If I ever feel like I need more, I have the freedom to get it from other places which makes him just as happy which is kind of the point from his POV. Win-win.

Long version: When we started out, I wanted him to do what I call the administrative work. Finding, vetting, etc. I learned very quickly that my requirements were much more extensive than his and it was more logical for me to take that over. I didn’t love it because as I’m sure you all know, it really is a lot of work. It’s downright exhausting sometimes but it’s worth it. It takes a lot for me to truly enjoy sex with someone and making sure they check those boxes is a high priority.

I’m no stranger to posting nudes online. Exhibitionism is thrilling for me so I continued doing that on Reddit with no expectations of meeting anyone, but if it happened to catch someone’s attention that seemed interesting enough it would progress to a conversation, date, and/or sex. Lots of trash to sort through though and more often than not I do not reply. I am on one app and have had some success with it.

My first experience is still a vivid memory. One of the things we agreed on was that it was always a solo experience meeting someone and that I would record for him. lt was thrilling, exciting, and I could only imagine what my heart rate was. I remember texting my bf that I was about to meet the guy. I remember meeting him but I also remembered how not-fun it was. Recording was a fiasco in and of itself but I wouldn’t say we were sexually compatible.

What I really remembered more was the aftermath. I returned to my bf and after reading stories on here of how couples would immediately reconnected I thought that would be my experience. It’s important to note that my bf is a very chill person and rarely acts impulsively. He was just as chill when I returned and did not attempt to ravage me in any way-y’all I thought I fucked up, did something wrong, or he regretted letting me go. I remember not being able to sleep and was in tears and had to leave the bedroom to not wake him because I felt awful but didn’t know how to start the conversation. Anyway, he came to get me and asked what was wrong. I told him I thought there would be more of a reaction from him and turns out he was coming down with something (surprise, it was a cold) and felt shitty hence his lack of enthusiasm. We learned an important lesson in communication that night. Anyways, we didn’t even watch the video together because I didn’t love the sex and he was only interested in it if I were happy with it.

To this day, he is still very chill when I come home. What’s funny is that he’ll have dinner waiting for me and we chat as if it was a regular day. If I don’t initiate, we will watch the videos together later that night, the morning after, or even the weekend but he’s never hurried. He shares that he always watches when he travels for work and that makes me happy. I’m open and honest with him whenever I’m off seeing someone (for safety reasons as well) and I’m even more honest when I describe what it’s like when a guy fills me up.

I would say I have been lucky enough to see a few guys regularly (preferred). I’ve had one angry wife call me to tell me they did not have an open marriage (I don’t prefer married guys for this reason). I’ve never once felt unsafe (something I often think about since I play solo). And I’ve got a great lingerie collection (that shockingly many guys don’t really appreciate, but for the few that do it’s great).

Happy to answer any questions here. Don’t DM me expecting a personal conversation :)