About two years ago my husband told me that he wanted. On a crisis because he didn't accept yet (It was a bad way to tell).

In the beginning, I cried a lot thinking it was because he didn't love me since he didn't feel jealous and I didn't understand why he wanted so much.

As time goes, I felt more comfortable with it and understood that he didn't need to feel jealous to love me. Now it gets to the tricky part.

I consumed a lot of red pill content during my teen years and my upbringing as a whole has some more conservative parts, where the value is measured by the number of sexual partners, and there's a difference between a woman to marry and a woman to fuck. And I get a really bad feeling if my body count goes up like I'm losing some value.

I heard a lot of stories while growing up, A LOT, about how men are disrespectful in casual relationships, taking off condoms when the woman is not looking, going beyond her limits, or trying to convince her to do something.

And, my pleasure is almost entirely psychological, we're switchers in a BDSM relationship, playing with fetishes and dynamics makes me have much more pleasure than sex for sex because I have low sensitivity. But as a Gentle femdom, I don't want to do a lot of the humiliation ideas the fetish sells. So casual sex without anything more psychological doesn't work for me.

Conclusion. That makes me feel bad to think of having casual sex with someone other than my husband because I'm going to lose value. And I need something more than vanilla sex to feel pleasure. So I'm not sure how to get on this lifestyle in a way that I feel pleasure and comfortable because that's a must for my husband.

Another perks:

• I don't moan (It just doesn't happen naturally, so casual sex makes me feel obligated to moan).

• I dress conservatively and not thinking about going slutier because it makes me uncomfortable.

• Yes, I already treat some of these things I have with sex on therapy.