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My wife (26) and myself (31) have been talking a lot about opening our relationship for flings. I am not allowed to have another woman but i am comfortable with her having men. We have been playing in bed with the lifestyle for a few years and only had one three way at the beginning of our marriage. Since then it's been a roller coaster of fun and lots of hot sex one on one.
However, in the last four weeks she found an old crush from middle school and has gotten very interested in him. She asked if it was ok for her to message him while stroking me and having me leak everywhere. I said yes.
Now she is planning to meet him and has a 8 hour round trip in few weeks to finally have her fun with him. I am feeling very insecure about him because he is much sexier and has a bigger cĂ´ck than i do. But she has only talked about him lately in bed and in conversation. Any advice?
First- are you ok with the inequity: you are not âallowedâ to have another same? This is already setting up a power play dynamic that is manifesting itself in your insecurity about him being sexier and dick size. What makes him sexier? This may be an illusion for the both of you. A bigger penis doesnât mean he knows how to use it.
The other issues is that she would venture out 8 hours for this first and risky encounter. And someone she knows who likely knows other and may out the relationship.
You may want to rethink what you are doing here. A stranger, closer to home geographically, and who you do not feel so threatened by.
There has to be some compromise here and it seems that she is getting all the say here. Of this is how you start, this is not a hotwife lifestyle. It is a cuck style and that may not work for you.
Also, think about this. If the experience goes south, she has to drive back 4 hours to sit in it and have to deal with it. Not the best set up here.
Please rethink this.
Wishing you all the best!
Ok, so my husband also wanted this lifestyle and I said I donât ever want to share you. So if you want to fuck other people we can shut this shit down right now.
It sounds like you are now complaining that you canât be with anyone else as you experiencing anxiety about her being with someone. That feels a little manipulative. Either you want a hotwife or you donât, but it isnât supposed to be about you being with other people. It is supposed to be about compersion, yes?
Middle school crush seems like nothing in my book. But I would go with her and be a hotel nearby. Get that energy and reclaim while she is nice and fresh. Once my husband had to wait 8 hours to talk about my hook up as I was in public on a train, and he felt frustrated he couldnât hear about it, and it sucked. It wasnât as hot as it could have been.
Did she suggest this lifestyle or did you?
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She may need counseling first. She has to own her sexuality and claim her own power. She needs to have validation from herself.
She should know that she is sexy. Seeking something so crucial to our own identity outside of oneself and the marriage can be damaging.
This is a potential dangerous venture she is setting off in where the wrong people may take advantage or the validation may become an addiction. This is where the lifestyle causes so much damages to people and marriages.
Opening up the marriage can bring you closer together and augment what you have. Using the lifestyle to fill a void is usually a big red flag.
Please rethink this!