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F34, husband shared this fantasy, lots of questions and concerns
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wifelooking4 is a female age 34
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Hi. My husband recently shared he has this fantasy with me, and I was seriously shocked. I never imagined this would be something he would be interested in.

My first reaction was a hard NO on ever doing anything like this. We have kids and Iā€™m in okay shape but not like I was ten years ago. I also canā€™t imagine actuallyā€¦doing things with someone besides my husband.

But after I started to really fantasize about it, something about it did turn me on, which made me feel a little ashamed. Itā€™s just a lot to handle I guess.

Before we were married, I definitely went through aā€¦phase I guess. Haha. I was pretty promiscuous with a group of work friends and slept around, got into some situations I regret. My husband has always asked me about those times but I always feel ashamed to give him too much detail. I know itā€™s hot for him to hear about the things I did during those years, but not all of it was fun looking back. He doesnā€™t understand.

Anyway part of me worries that going through with something like a hotwife fantasy is ā€œopeningā€ up that side of me again. I donā€™t know if that makes sense, but I love my husband and would never dare cheat on him. The person I was in my early 20s is a different person.

I also, well, I guess thereā€™s no way to put this other than Iā€™m worried about having an orgasm with another man. Iā€™m worried that will hurt my husband or make him feel invalidated. We often use toys and vibrators to get me there these days (been having sex for over a decade now). But I also know my body, and if someone new is touching meā€¦I donā€™t think Iā€™ll need toys or vibrators. Is this a normal fear?

I apologize if any of this is scattered or seems weird. Just trying to figure out where Iā€™m at with all of this.

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Posted
2 days ago