Marriage is a journey filled with discoveries, challenges, and transformations. When my wife and I exchanged our vows, we never imagined all the changes that would come with the years. We have been together for a long time, and our relationship has always been marked by profound complicity and love. However, over time, we noticed that our sexual intimacy also evolved, taking unexpected turns.

Over the years, sex in our marriage has shifted from being an explosion of unrestrained passion to something calmer, almost fraternal. Our emotional connection is so strong that, ironically, it seems to have softened the physical intensity we once had. Today, we are more than lovers, we are partners, confidants, and lifelong companions.

While this is wonderful, we felt something was missing, an element of novelty, of carnal desire, that we could no longer find on our own.

With honesty and openness, we began to discuss how we could reintroduce that intensity into our lives. These conversations were deep and, at times, challenging, but they brought forth an idea we never would have imagined exploring at the start of our marriage: the possibility of my wife experiencing something with another man. Not just any man, but someone who could offer her something that I, as her husband, might no longer be able to, a dominant sexual connection, where she could feel completely submissive while also safe and respected.

Our idea, however, was not simple. This wasn’t about betrayal or something thoughtless; it was a carefully discussed and reflected decision, based on trust and a mutual desire to grow as a couple. The man we envisioned would need to dominate my wife in a firm but never rude or aggressive manner. We wanted someone who could awaken a dormant side of her, someone who could make her feel entirely surrendered, submissive, almost tamed in the context of intimate connection.

However, turning this desire into reality has been more challenging than we imagined. Finding someone who fits this role is far more complicated than it seems. The ideal person would not only need to accept this dynamic but also understand the depth it entails. We are not looking for someone to fulfill a superficial fantasy but rather someone with maturity, empathy, and emotional intelligence to handle the complexity of this experience.

The profile we’re seeking requires a rare balance, someone who is polite, respectful, and at the same time, dominant.

We are not interested in someone who is rough, insensitive, or disrespectful — that would be the opposite of what we desire. We need someone who understands that my wife’s true submission depends on a specific kind of trust and energy. She needs to feel under control, but in a way that values her and makes her feel secure.

So far, the men we’ve encountered have failed to meet these expectations. Some were overly aggressive, trying to impose a forced sense of dominance that was more off-putting than enticing. Others lacked the sensitivity or the ability to build the emotional connection necessary for my wife to feel at ease. Submission, in the context we envision, is not merely a physical act; it is something psychological and emotional that can only be achieved with the right partner.

Another challenge in this process has been my wife’s own emotional barriers to letting go. Despite the desire we have discussed together, there is a natural emotional hurdle she faces. Completely surrendering to another man requires a level of trust and comfort that is not easily built, especially in such a specific dynamic.

My wife is a strong and independent woman, and the idea of being "subjugated" or "dominated" by another man, even consensually, demands significant emotional effort on her part. She needs to feel she is under the control of someone who knows what they are doing but who also respects her limits and understands her needs. So far, no one has been able to create this environment for her.

Despite these challenges, this search has been a process of self-discovery for us as a couple. Talking openly about our desires, fantasies, and boundaries has brought us even closer. It has been an opportunity to reaffirm our complicity and explore what we truly want, both individually and together.

Although we have yet to find the right person, we do not see this journey as a failure. It has taught us patience, communication, and the importance of discerning what truly matters to us. In the meantime, we continue to explore new ways to reignite desire between us and connect in ways we had never imagined before.

Far from weakening our marriage, this journey has strengthened it. What we seek is not a replacement for what we have but a complement a way to expand the possibilities of our relationship and fully embrace what we both desire.