I have been invited to be a third for a couple and I have some questions. For a bit of background my wife and I had been interested in hotwiving but for various reasons she's not able to be involved at the moment. In the meantime she gave me consent to be a third for other couples with various conditions (they must be a couple, safe sex etc). I haven't aggressively pursued this because I don't consider myself a 'bull' or an aggressive alpha - just a 43 year old guy in good shape who loves sex so wasn't sure I'd be what hotwife couples were really looking for. However hotwiving/swinging/stag-vixen is a spectrum and I've been chatting to a couple aged 31/32 who a curious-interested in a threesome and hotwife style experience but haven't met anyone yet and would prefer their first time to be someone who is trying things out too. They had one meet already but the vibe wasn't there and they didn't end up doing anything. I've been chatting to the woman (or thats what they are saying anyway) and I've shared pictures of myself with face sfw and she's shared a couple of nsfw without faces but seemingly with some verification (vaguely had my name in the pic but it was difficult to make out). They are travelling to a town near me for work next week and will have a hotel so have been keen to arrange and lock in a date. She's been keen to specify that they'd like to meet me in the hotel bar for some drinks and chat and see if the vibe is there and then go to their room if all feels good. I get the impression for this meet they'd like it to be a full threesome with a focus on her pleasure and perhaps he will instruct her to what he wants her to do with me - like his own performing pornstar. Here are my questions:

1.) Verfication - they have sort of verified but I feel like I need something more concrete before meeting - what generally speaking is a reasonable thing to ask for verification? I was thinking a pic with their faces and a piece of paper with my username?

2.) Safe sex - They haven't mentioned safe sex yes but its imperative for me that I will use condoms for PIV but happy without for oral - can I assume they feel the same way and see how it goes or should I double check first - whats a good way to bring this up?

3.) Chat - I'm confident enough to have a good conversation in the bar to begin with but if they're cagey about letting on too much about themselves and their lives what are some good topics of chat before things get flirtier/sexier?

Generally speaking do most hotwives here tend to meet with single males or have any of you been involved in the scenario I outlined above.

Also any hints, tips or advice for the meet and to make it a great experience all round are gratefully received.