I don’t remember how my fantasy about sharing started. I’ve never been a possessive husband. I enjoy seeing her happy, seeing new sides of her, and the feelings that come from new experiences.

On top of that, we’re an open minded couple. We have friends of different sexual orientations, and enjoy talking about sex and kinks together.

However, when it comes to our actual sex life we’re pretty vanilla. We have three kids, and, imho, we’re pretty good parents. We talked about that, and how the fear of messing up our relationship or home life is holding us back from exploring our sexuality together.

We started adding some fantasy talk into our sex, starting with some voyeurism and exhibitions talk that she liked, then started talking about having sex multiple times with the intension of enjoying some DIY sloppy seconds.

Eventually I asked what kinds of things she enjoys thinking about when she’s alone: the answer, “oh, you know threesomes, lots of bodies, the usual stuff.”

Usual stuff? She’d never brought it up before. Threesomes with me, two girls? Two guys? All girls? “All of it, two guys sounds fun..”

I could hear the hesitancy in her voice, the fear of being too risqué in her description - her attitudes and fantasies are wild, she often indicates, but her personality and demeanor can be very reserved, careful, even a bit cold at times. I can relate.

A few weeks later, again during sex, she asks me if I’ve had any sexy thoughts.. I’ve thought about the threesome idea, I say, mirroring her caution.

“With..” she encourages.

Multiple men. “Oh?”

I can feel her body change, her excitement, her breathing quicken.

From there it’s all dirty talk, in the middle of intense sex, describing how I/we would pleasure her, how we’d treat her, and how I’d feel about it. I share how hot I’d find it, how much I’d be turned on sharing her. I think I said it knowing it was a fantasy she enjoyed, but something struck me as I got to the part of the fantasy talk where the 3rd filled her, and it was my turn…

.. it was true. I did find it hot! Indescribably hot, the kinds of feelings I had when we were young, experiencing each other for the first times. There was the sense of the taboo and the forbidden, but the thrill of embracing it, of seeing it for the pleasure it was, and the idea of her enjoying another man and coming back to me was intoxicating.

For a few weeks it was a consistent source of erotic fantasy, many of which I kept to myself, but some of which I shared. At one point I tried to bring it up again during sex, but she wasn’t into it.

Then, suddenly, she was talking about it, her story this time- about multiple men, coming into the room one after the other, having their way with her, filling her, then walking out to open the door for the next man. I asked where she imagined me? “Where do you want to be?” She asked. I’ll go last, I answered. “Good.” She smiled, “I’ll be such a mess.. is that okay?”

I pictured it, her hair and makeup a mess, the sheets wet and crumpled, her body; hot, wet inviting and covered in all those before me.

This felt different than other fantasies, more real, that she was sharing something deeper with me. It was exposing something deeper in me too, and I was aroused, even eager to hear more, do more, explore this. I didn’t feel jealous of the fantasy, or the desire that clearly lay behind it. I felt secure, and grateful she was sharing this, being vulnerable and lustful together. That this was simmering we were imaging together.

“Is that okay?” Her eyes pleading.

My answer surprised me at first, and then not at all.