Hey there everyone! Long time lurker, first time poster here! 31m29f couple here and we have finally progressed to looking for a third. We’ve been together over 7 years married for 2 , I was her first relationship both emotionally and physically. She grew up in a way more conservative household than I so breaking that stigma has been hurdle for us. We have a more stag vixen dynamic but this community seems more fun and welcoming 😂 She still has hesitations and found it hard to talk about, but I kept planting the seed (see the pun there). We had already talked about rules and what we as a couple were comfortable with. I wasn’t overly pushy but just enough to keep things progressing.

When she would drink she would open up more about likes and dislikes as well as what she wants out of this. I was always conveniently a designated driver so I made sure to take mental notes 😉 I actually wrote these in my phone late too. One thing I did to help ease her anxiety was anytime we were out drinking I would ask her who she found attractive (usually a bartender). I would then suggest we go sit in/near his section and would slip her ring off under the table. She would just innocently chat with him but it helped ease her mind that I’m here right with you through this.

This was a coupled with copious amounts of what I like to call bureaucratic discussions where I put her type A planning personality at ease! I also took the reins and stress off her shoulders by doing the communication and searching (again take notes of her likes FOR HER).

Where this goes I have no idea. But we’re excited to see what the future brings!

My tips to all those trying to open their SO to this be patient. If they say no make sure they understand that is ok. If they want to stop that is ok. You are both in this together but are introducing something society has engrained in most peoples minds as being wrong or different. If aren’t open to changing their beliefs that is perfectly fine. You need to have two types of conversations with them sexy time and logical. Start small and work your way up. If your relationship is strong, make sure they know it! Comment on the little things, make small gestures of love (learn their god damn love language), do not pressure them. Above all enjoy your time together 😉