TLDR: The guy we met up with said no.

so here's the context. my wife and i posted an ad on reddit for a running/coffee date. we're very picky with this. one guy matched really well with what we want, serious runner, single, professional, respectful, did not send any dick pics, and easy to talk to. physically, wife was on board as well.

they chat, immediately agreed to meet up the next weekend for the run and coffee. they flirted in chat, exchanged sexy photos (non-nudes) everyday... the usual getting to know you stuff. they exchange SFW photos with face as well. no red flags. he's not being pushy, was playful when wife was being playful. he's quite a gentleman.

at the day of the meet, he showed up. and on time at that! they went for a run while I waited in the car. afterwards, we all went for coffee, his treat. no red flags even in person. he was easy to talk to, conversation flowed well although we didn't talk about the lifestyle. talked about common interests, work, small talk basically.

eventually he had to leave due to real-life commitment which he told us beforehand so no surprises there. being the guy, I thought it was a good meet. they vibed, they share some interests, intellectually they're on the same wavelength. I really thought we lucked out for her first ever meet.

then afterwards, he messaged her saying it's a no. said something about 'physical' which i don't get because my wife is more covered during the meet than the photos she sent. and all photos she sent were recent. he knows she's petite. he also mentioned that he doesn't think he's the right person for her in this lifestyle. and he can only see her as a friend.

I know No's are part of the lifestyle. but having read a lot about other experiences, I really didn't see it coming. we're not going to ask him anymore for additional explanation, she uninstalled Snap as well. Hopefully, others with similar experience shed light, or perhaps a perspective from another bull/third.

we respect his decision but it really didn't go well for us especially for my wife. she's turning her back away from this lifestyle unfortunately.