I’m still trying to wrap my head around what happened a few months ago. My ex (we were together for 2 years!) had always had a lower sex drive than me, and it was frustrating, to say the least. I’d bring it up, and we’d have these awkward conversations where he’d brush it off, saying, "That’s just how I am." I never wanted to push him into something he wasn’t into, but come on, it’s not like my needs just disappeared. I was dying for something more, to feel desired and fulfilled.

Then, out of the blue, he suggests I try the hotwife lifestyle. Yeah, he suggested it. Like, what? At first, I thought he was messing with me, but nope—he was serious. He actually sat me down and told me he couldn’t keep up with my sex drive and thought this could be a "solution" for us. At first, I was shocked and hesitant. But he kept pushing the idea, telling me it’d be fun and maybe it’d take the pressure off him. So, after a lot of back and forth, I thought, okay, maybe this could work. I was curious, he was on board (or so I thought), and we set up some boundaries.

Let me tell you, when I finally tried it, it was wild. I felt alive, like this whole side of me that had been ignored for so long was finally free. For the first time, I wasn’t holding back or pretending to be satisfied when I wasn’t. And for a while, it seemed like everything was fine. He acted like he was cool with it. I thought we’d found some kind of balance. But nope. That didn’t last.

Before I knew it, he started getting weird about the whole thing. Distant. Cold. Like, excuse me?? He was the one who told me to do this in the first place! Now he was acting like I betrayed him, when I was literally following his suggestion. The intimacy we had (which was already shaky) completely fell apart. He couldn’t look at me the same way, and he started avoiding me altogether.

And then, the bomb drops. He breaks up with me. Says he "couldn’t handle it." That the thought of me with other men was eating him up inside. WHAT?! This was his idea from the start! He basically gave me permission, and now he’s the one who can’t deal with it? The hypocrisy is unreal. I’m left here feeling guilty, confused, and so freaking angry. Like, did he ever really think this through? Did he just want to "test" me? I have no idea, and it drives me insane.

Now I’m single, thanks to his inability to handle something he literally asked for. And you know what? I’m still figuring out what this all means for me. I won’t lie—I enjoyed the lifestyle, and I’m not ashamed of it. But I’m pissed that he couldn’t handle his own suggestion. Like, if you’re not okay with something, DON’T suggest it! I just wish he’d been honest with himself and with me from the start instead of putting us both through this mess.

Anyone else been through something like this? How do you even move forward after something like that? How do I ever trust another man that says they are "okay" with this lifestyle.