I’ve been a Hotwife for the last year due to a dead bedroom. My husband is not able to perform (prior to that, we haven’t had sex in over 8 years), so last year, we agreed that I could have outside sexual partners.

However, I crossed a boundary and slept with someone without telling him, which is the one rule he has. After it happened, he suggested that this guy could come over so he can meet him and then when I brought it up a few weeks later, he changed his mind.

I know this is totally my fault, and I went overboard and maybe I’m making up for lost time. Now I have no one to flirt with or sext with, and I really miss that. I don’t get any of that in my relationship and now I feel like I’ll be celibate for a while again.

Just venting, open to comments.

ETA: in a perfect world, I’d love to have a bit more sexual freedom, maybe a boyfriend of sorts where I could just have the fun sexting, flirting, and sex - not dating.