I’ve had this term in my head for a long time and until recently wasn’t able to make the connection to what I was feeling and how to articulate it.

By the term “into the gray” I mean, you’re in a relationship and you (or your partner) are more adventurous and wanting to try new things where the other half doesn’t share the same enthusiasm, but doesn’t run away screaming saying you need HELP! However, you and your partner do discuss it; sometimes during sexual activities and sometimes outside of the bedroom in non-sexual times.

How many people are (or have been) into the gray area of non-monogamy/kink/lifestyle?

For me it’s almost 4 years of discovering what the lifestyle actually is, the hotwife and other related kinks and all the fun things that happened in between. I am super intrigued, not only by the sexual activities but by surrounding myself with more sexually like-minded people at the right times.

She and I have definitely tried new things, such as dirty talk, use of toys and role-play, watching porn together, hot past conversations, and recently we did an in-home photo shoot. (which I am not sharing, sorry). She also knows of my Reddit and Twitter accounts and recently we have just made a fetlife profile, but have not really started to fill that in or explore yet.

Even though I feel we may have taken one step away from the dark side of being Vanilla towards the light of being sexually open in ethical non-monogamy. Sometimes I feel like a boy doing a magic trick for him mom!

We have many factors working against us between young children, stressful jobs, and just our upbringing and how sex was portrayed to us. However, through lots of talking, the help of couples counseling, remaining open-minded, and an unwavering desire to explore new and fun things for THE BOTH OF US, I continue my crusade towards the light!

Advice and encouragement is always appreciated, and if you’re in the same boat, use this as inspiration to keep going. You miss 100% of the chances you don’t take and if you haven’t had the conversation (planted the seed), but would like to… There’s no time like now! Life will never be perfect, seize the day!

** apologies for the long post and I’m sure many grammatical errors… Damn talk to text!