A male friend and I (also male) have been in and out of this for over 5 years now from the angle of being a third. We don't really identify as being part of the 'community' - that rather losely applied word. We don't keep up with the acronyms. We don't self identify as bulls. We're just a couple of guys who like to keep really fit and have amazing experiences with interesting, experimental and gorgeous people.

We also both tend to attract couples who are newer to the whole thing I think, maybe because we're early thirties and relatively on the younger side as are they, maybe we come accross as less intimidating as guys who are fully into the lifestyle, i dont know.

They tend to be the mid twenties to mid thirties first, second, third timers. Who also tend to be a bit flakey, less willing to put themselves out there online and thus harder to verify and who are also struggling to find thirds that meet their criteria.

It's honestly frustrating to everyone involved and is the reason me and my friend dip in and out of this stuff because sometimes it can just seem exhausting and time wasting. Couples definitely feel this way too, and this can put never couples off completely.

I think it might be an idea to create a kind of gated group of curated members in a place that's kind of private, with genuinely interested (non flakey) verified members.

Theidea would be to create a little catalogue of vixens who would be vetted for all the above qualities, then admit similarly curated potential thirds to browse, and importantly review interactions and experiences. I think the open forum nature of it would quickly weed out the flakes and creeps and whatever else and might provide more of an open door and end up in easy genuine connections for those that truly want it.

A loosely defined project idea I know but I think it has a good basis and might appeal especially to less experienced couples who don't want to go through all the effort of browsing through apps for low quality connections.

Ideas, thoughts, messages welcome, especially if you're interested in joining the catalogue!