I have been a quiet follower of this sub for about a year without participating much. So I wanted to share a summary of my experience wannabe journey and use this as a journal to look back to as hopefully we move towards making this a reality. ——-

Part 1

About five years ago I found myself hyper focused on watching my wife sexually with another person. It’s hard to know for sure when this started but there are some events that come to mind that perhaps triggered this kink.

My wife has always told me she is bewildered by the fact I am not a jealous person. I considered it was because I’m feeling safe and secure around her and she has never done anything to make me feel jealous over. But it’s more likely it has to do with my psychology, upbringing, our financial and of course, a long history of viewing porn.

I also believe it had something to do with how we started dating. We both come from very conservative backgrounds and our families were friends visiting each other a few times over the years prior to us even being of dating age.

When I was 20 yo I visited her town and part of the trip involved hanging out with her brothers among other friends. It was here that I first noticed her beauty. Out of respect for her brothers I did not make a move to talk to her more than hanging out in a group setting.

On that trip there was another guy (James) who was absolutely smitten by her and had been trying to convince her to date for a few months by this point. She clearly had no interest and he was not getting the message.

On one of the group hikes she approached me and asked if I could stay close to her because she would like to put some distance between her and James who was trying way too hard.

I was quite glad to and we immediately had a great connection. She would eventually point out how depressive and quiet James had gotten and by the end of the day he had sent her some depressing messages. She was just glad he was getting the message.

The following day she asked me to push it even more and in a sense “pretend you’re into me…”

I obliged without objection and clearly there was no need to pretend. The only pretending I did was that I was pretending. This in a way allowed me display the best “game” of my life because after all we were “playing pretend.”

At the end of the trip under the guise of of ‘pretend’ I pointed out that James was facing our direction probably 20 yards away or so and that this would be a good moment for a “pretend kiss.”

She immediately blushed and opened herself up moving her shoulders and hair back inviting me in for a quick kiss that left both of us thirsty for so much more.

Needless to say that our little game worked perfectly in convincing James that she is no longer available.

She would later write and thank me for participating which essentially was how we begin dating. Eighteen months later we were married.