I used to be a hotwife. I'm conflicted between if I'm taking a long break or if I'm really retired. I had a bad experience with the last guy we used to play with.

We met JT through Feeld. I was about to give up on the app because it was a lot of chatting but not much action. Anyway, the chats were flowing, we had chemistry, we connected in the time he was traveling and I was too, so it took us longer to meet in person. Usually when I used to chat with someone and the meet is not foreseeable, I would lose interest. But not with JT. He was making an effort too. We met after a month of chatting. Just a meet and greet.

He told me he was in an open relationship and that his wife has a girlfriend, and they do trios and such. I mentioned how hardnit was for us it's to meet good candidates, and he agreed. We had similar anecdotes, discussing red flags or orange flags, we were clicking, and also he is very attractive.

So our playtime was great, and he was more aware of the both of us than just me. Other players were ok of playing as thirds, but JT was a great third, always making sure my husband was also getting my attention.

JT was charming. I liked to chat/text w my thirds like asking how their day is going. It doesn't have to be back and forth, just checking on one another. He was that, he would chat, and even asked me if he call me (Snapchat) just call, there weren't many calls because my husband didn't like us to have private conversation, so only were very few. We would talk about something, and he'd said oh I love this about you, or I love that you're this. I just played along, but I was alerted. He invited me to his basketball games that were around my area, and I went twice, nothing after game just talking and kiss. We met a few times for coffee during daytime, again nothing sexual, just chat, laughs and kiss, a few grabs. I always asked my husband before any meeting and if he ever opposed. Something about me I'm very caring person. I'll check of you if you told me you had a bad day or you're sick. He said he loved my heart and the way I love. So I asked jokingly, "do you love me JT?" Yes I do... gasp! Yet I had started having feelings for him too. Yes love, but not in love with him. Not going away with him. Just i really care for him. My husband knew, I told him but that JT is not replacing any love or importance over him or our marriage. I was getting more comfortable with him. So I wanted to explore more kinks, things that only my husband knew about.

He used to say he is comfortable with us too, that he'd like to have solos with me, but he knew that was against our rules. I'm not going to lie the idea to meet him alone crossed my mind, but I didn't. My husband knows. I used to tease JT to come and fk me. Yes that's how I sext, and he'd say I can't do that to "husband's name". He's cool. I guess that's why my husband was comfortable with him too.

There were a few things that we had troubles with like our available days, and that can be a deal breaker. I was trying to work with him, but I have a family too. So weekdays were not good, and he couldn't do weekends. We compromised on dates, but then the problem was the time. I didn't notice too much at the beginning, but later months I noticed it was no more than 2 to 2.5 hours.

I asked directly hey why you can't stay more than 2 hours, he'd blamed on me bc I was late arriving, which yes there were times I was, or that the time 10pm was too late. My husband gets the hotel, goes after work (gets off later in the evening), and I'd go after I took care of the kids. That worked before. So as time went by, we had some bickering. He'd stop talking me at all, like giving me the silent treatment. So I'd delete his name, and then he'd get mad if I did that. I told him I don't do silent treatment, that it was very immature, and that doesn't make me want you more, it does just the opposite. That would happen every couple months.

During one of our fights (more like misunderstanding) bc I asked if he's seeing more girls as curiosity. He said he wanted to take a break about us. I said ok, I thought we weren't going to talk, but he was texting still every day. I asked him what do you want, bc you can't ask for a break, messing with my head but still writing me and be sweet with me. He just said I need a break for himself. Ok, whatever, I don't get it. So I started pulling away. I opened Feeld again, not that my head was ready, but I did it.

Our texts were getting less and less. Instead of getting a text at 10am, now they were at 4pm or sometimes at 7pm. So I stopped replying right away. One of our last conversations he said he really wanted what we had to work. I agreed, but I told him no more games, then nothing.

Next text I got was "Hey my wife wants to talk to you. Please don't. I will explain later" My heart started racing fast and hard. I sent the text to my husband. We were confused. I just replied, "if you got caught cheating that's on you. You were the liar. Also I don't talk to wives". He said no no it's no it. I'll explain later. He called me a few hours later,. Distant, but he was pleading that I don't talk to his wife. That the reason is that she didn't like how close we got, and she asked him not to see me. I told him we haven't seen each other for almost 2 months. JT: "I know. I know, but I was talking to you. I shouldn't have gotten too close to you." I reminded him that he was the one who wanted to call me all the time, meet with me, you're the one checking when I was sick or my dad was in the hospital. It was you, and I fell for that. Also that I'm very protective of my privacy, for many reasons, and with this I feel very exposed.

He cried and asked again to promise him that I won't talk to the wife, and if in the future we can be friends again. Hours later I get chat request from the wife. I thought to ignore it, but then I opened the chat, at first she was mad asking if my husband knew and then that she is the wife of JT, and that they never were on an open relationship. I thought not to get involved, but then I thought I don't have anything to hide because I didn't do anything wrong. I was lied to. So we chat. She asked me what we meant with us saying love you. I explained that I care for him, but I didn't mean it as lets start a life together. I told her when we started to see each other, that he had a profile in Feeld with his face there. The three of us talked about our weddings, different trips, and when they both got covid, I asked JT how she was doing. I really didn't have anything to hide. I felt bad for her. She said she already talked to 5 women. She thanked me. I offered some advice bc she said she didn't have money of her own. I checked on her the next day. Then I deleted my account. It really hit me hard. Because I considered that person as a friend, I talked about how hard this is and to find so many liars when there's no need to lie. I was really hurt, and it took me many months. I thought about going on dates again. We went on a few, but my head was not in the game anymore. I didn't feel any connection the same, I didn't feel like the guys were that charming, and that they were probably lying. So I made the decision to stop it.