So, I am a single male and my experience in the swinging community has primarily been with meeting couples (stag/vixen, hotwife) and single women (attached and unattached).

Most of the couples that I meet have been from swinging sites (AFF, SDC, SLS, 3Fun, Feeld).

The topic of who is expected to pay for things as a single when meeting couples…..there are couples that believe that getting a hotel room should be an expense for the single guy, which I disagree with, and here’s why.

I believe that we are engaging in a shared experience that should be mutually pleasurable for all parties involved. When I say “mutually pleasurable,” that’s not always going to be in the physical form, so that doesn’t mean anything like “I need to cum too,” as pleasure for me could come in different variations, such as visual stimulation, physical, compersion, and I feel that’s also the case for many couples as well, especially the male half, sharing his partner or watching his partner being pleasured by another man.

I feel that couples that believe they shouldn’t have to pay for a room view meeting singles as them doing the single person a favor, but in reality, if they didn’t get anything from the experience, would they even be doing it?

I just want to be valued and respected as an equal play partner within our shared experiences.

If I meet a hotwife solo or a single woman in the LS, I don’t mind paying for drinks if we’re meeting out and about, but that should be bc I WANT to pick up the tab, not because I’m expected to.

If we’re engaging in shared experiences, we should always go into any meetup with the expectation that we are going to take care of our own tabs, but if someone wants to pick up the tab, I’m appreciative of them picking it up, but it shouldn’t be expected.

I’d love to have some open dialogue around this topic and would welcome thoughts from anyone, it doesn’t have to be just couples. Thank you