I’ve had lot of questions to my earlier post about what’s going on at the moment. As a recap, my wife and I have been raised in purity culture and only have had sex with each other (none before marriage). We are active in church and she is extremely pure what comes to sex. We have kids, and we are in our mid 30s.

Last autumn I confessed to her that through our marriage I’ve had strong wifesharing fantasies and I am longing for her to have sex with another guy. She had no idea.

To put it short - it was a disaster. She was confused and sad. She said that our marriage doesn’t mean anything to me and how I can think like that as a man of faith. After that:

-I explained a littlet bit about how I theologically came into conclusion that it is not sin or wrong (she is not that convinced I guess, though we really haven’t dig too deep into it) -Explained how I am not interested about other woman at all (which I think she believes by now) -We’ve gone to therapy since that - it has helped VERY much

Overall I could say that the starting point and beginning of introducing this fantasy to my wife could have not been worse. Something that has been a constant state of mind for me for the past 15 years came into her knowledge during one evening.

After around 10 months we are here:

-She kinda accepts my fantasy though she might not understand it very well -She have made it very clear that she doesn’t want to, nor never will have sex with other man -She knows that I will not push her to do it - even though I fantasize about it

We’ve taken some small baby steps within the fantasy (though by steps I don’t mean we are heading towards ”anything” specific):

-We’ve watched porn. Also wifesharing porn (though we started with very softcore female friendly porn). Her being very willing to watch porn with me was a big thing as she has never watched any porn before.

However - she didn’t enjoy it. Did it couple of times, probably not anymore. Also tried audio, not a fan either.

-The ”key” big thing: fantasizing about other guys. My wife said she has done it sometimes - so I wanted to embrace it. We’ve done ”fantasy massages” where I massage her for an hour and ask her to think about some other man, and really dwell into that fantasy. I do regular full body massage that ends with happy ending and sex.

The massage itself is almost irrelevant. I just want to give her time and space to think about some other man when she is horny. And this has worked out very well. We’ve done it couple times a month and she is very horny during the end of the massage.

Sometimes we also just have regular sex where I ask her to fantasize about some other guy and she does it. Which I love.

She doesn’t want to tell me who she thinks about, or even what is happening in her fantasies. From what she had said though, it is not just plain sex. More of a ”symphaty of souls” and romantic stuff.

My wife is extremely demi-sexual. She doesn’t find ”hot guys” hot like many other women. She is more into emotional side of sex. This brings a huge difference within our thought processes but I have learned it a little by little.

So basically from zero to ”fantasy massages” has been our hotwife fantasy path so far.

My wife DID say that if I want, I can suggest ”something new” that I would like to introduce to our sex life. She also said that things we’ve done so far (so the fantasies mainly) has been nice for her.

Feel free to suggest - I have no idea. Introducing some other guy irl etc is not an option. But a baby step from fantasies of other guys.. I just don’t know what it could be.

Anyway. We are in a much better place where I imagined. It is a big thing just alone that she knows about the fantasy. Also the therapy did wonders. We are still active in church also.

Thanks for the support and messages!