Apologies in advance for the long post. This is my first post, so trying get a couple things off my chest and give proper historical context on how we got here. I did read the rules and I believe this post is in accordance, but apologies if I may have missed something. In a nutshell, the key takeaway is that my wife has recently entertained my fantasy but has done a complete 180 and gone from talking about it and being super horny to being completely shut down and closed off about it.

I'm 35, she's 36. We've been together for 13 years and married for 2. We have three young kids under 10. I think she is an absolute goddess, but she disagrees. She has a nice body 5'6, 160ish with nice 36Ds that sag just a little after breastfeeding but still look perky and bouncy in a sheer bra. She has a little tummy after carrying all those kids as well. But it complements her body well, she's curvy and I actually find it attractive because I tell her it's the evidence of our love and passion. But she is insecure, she doesn't wear thongs anymore, no lingerie, rarely dresses sexy and constantly has negative self-talk despite how frequently I tell her how beautiful and sexy she is. She is very pretty with beautiful hazel eyes and an ivory complexion kissed with little brown freckles. Her hair is naturally brown but she recently dyed it light red, which matches her complexion perfectly and looks natural on her. It also seemed to be a slight indication that she was open to change and wanted to look cute and flirty. She didn't expressly do it for me, she knows I like redheads but I didn't ask her to do it because I didn't want her to feel insecure about not being a natural redhead. She just got a 'wild hair' so to speak, and did it on her own. Which I didn't mind at all. I rather enjoyed her boldness and seeing the confidence it gave her.

She is conservative (not politically) and comes from a religious background and her dad was in law enforcement, so everything outside of the norm is scary but she definitely has a rebellious streak. Before kids we had a wild sex life, we would fuck non-stop anywhere and everywhere, every day, multiple times a day. She was insatiable and we couldn't keep our hands off each other and that lasted for years until our first kid.

We fucked in front of my friends several times, and I could tell she loved it. She would always moan loud and talk dirty when my buddies were around, she wanted them to hear. She used to tell me that she had fantasies of fucking other guys, or dreams of her exes. She had this one fantasy of being in a 'sex room' and guys would come in one by one and fuck her on the table. She used to fantasize about DP. But all of that stopped somewhere around our 3rd kid and she's embarrassed for having those thoughts and telling me. She's told me that she gets horny thinking of stripping for me and my friends. One time she got tipsy and danced really sexy in front of me and my aunt's bf who was a huge african-american guy. My aunt used to go on and on about how big his dick was. And my wife was dancing in front of him to a sexy rap song and touching her breasts and rubbing her hands all over her body. We never talked about it, but we fucked 3 times that night and she let me eat her ass which she never does. She's had a couple episodes where she was flirting with someone from work, but felt guilty. Once was a big tall fire chief that did inspections at her work and they would frequently be in the building alone together. She told me she thought he was attractive and she noticed he had big hands, something she says she always notices on a man and she thinks it's a good indicator for dick size.

One of her exes had a really big dick and she told me she loved it. Another one was pretty girthy and she fucked him on the first date and says that was the best sex she ever had except for me (always quick to reassure me that I'm the best lol). She still blushes and gets really horny when she talks about it. When I first met her, she had a huge dildo and asked me to fuck her with it. I was a little intimidated that my girlfriend wanted to fuck a cock twice the size of mine, but there was no denying how much I enjoyed seeing how much pleasure it gave her. I hadn't made her cum yet at that point in our relationship, but she came all over that big dick. I have a nice decent sized dick, almost 7" and probably average girth. But when she told me she had been with a few hung guys, I realized she probably thought about fucking them when she used that big dildo. She's only been with 8 guys, I've been with over 30 women so she was always intrigued by my experience early on and was impressed by my skills even though I've never been a marathon man.

I've been bringing up the fantasy of her fucking other men for years and she always dismissed it and said it was weird that I wanted her to fuck other guys. She didn't like it because she only wanted me and wanted me to be protective over her. But she has given several very strong hints over the years to indicate that she's interested, just scared of it becoming a reality.

For example, a few months ago she went out on a girls night and got tipsy at the bar and started flirting with the bartender she nickamed "Hercules" because he was tall and muscular. She called me on her way home and told me about it and how horny she was. I asked if she would fuck him and she said no, but she wanted to and it makes her horny to think about, but she would never do that, she only wants me. But when I asked her what she would have done if he made a move on her she said she would kiss him and play with him and "sit on him and let him fuck me a little bit". When she got home we fucked like crazy and she kept saying that her pussy was mine. I asked her if she would fuck Hercules and give him my pussy, she said yes and came immediately.

About a year or so ago I bought a big cock sleeve that's about 9" long and very thick. She goes absolutely wild when I fuck her with that thing and she asks me to 'get the big thing' the majority of the times we have sex. She was shy at first and acted like it was too big and she didn't want it. But I put it on and surprised her with it under the sheets and her eyes lit up with fire, I knew she wanted to fuck that big dick and she rode it so hard she had the biggest body-shaking orgasm of her life. I have never seen her passion and lust so intense. The way she was begging me for more and taking the full length. She wanted to get pounded. It was amazing. I usually cum pretty quick and don't last more than a few minutes so she rarely cums with me. But we still have good sex and she still loves my dick. We usually have sex at least 3 times a week, and on a good week we'll have sex almost every day and sometimes multiple times a day. It's difficult to get privacy with three kids running around always asking for mommy.

One day we were at home without the kids a couple months ago. She knew about my fantasy, but we never discussed it in depth. So I took the opportunity to explain how I felt and let her know that it was more than just a fantasy, that I really wanted it to happen. She was perfectly fine discussing it and did not mind at all that I fantasized about it, but she was pretty clear that it would never happen because it's morally conflicting for her. She feels like it's cheating, like I want her to be a whore, it's wrong because we're married, and says that it's just weird. Despite my reassurances that none of those things are true because I support and encourage her and it's coming from a place of love and connection. I explained that I just want to give her the ultimate pleasure and sexual satisfaction, but I will be her rock and protector and provider and she will always come home to me because I am permanent and anyone one else would just be temporary. I told her that it's akin to me taking her out for a full day of shopping and exquisite fine dining and allowing her to buy and order whatever she wants. I receive great pleasure and satisfaction from gifting that experience to her. The more we talked she acknowledged that it does make her horny, but she would never act on it. She was supportive and said she was open to roleplay, watch porn, read stories, and talk about it. But she didn't want me to wear her out and she does not want it to happen for real. I assured her that she was in control and I don't want her to do anything that makes her uncomfortable. I am just happy that she is willing to play and flirt.

My dick was throbbing hard as we talked at the dining room table and she asked if this was making me horny and she patted the seat of the chair next to her and told me to come sit by her. I sat facing her naked and she grabbed my dick and started stroking me while she talked about her ex boyfriends big dick and how much she loved it and wanted to feel it inside her again. She had recently admitted to me that if she had a hall pass to fuck anyone in the world that it would be him. I reached between her legs and pulled her panties to the side just to feel how wet she was and she was absolutely gushing and her panties were soaked. She never gets that wet. She had me cumming in no time and was amazed by how big and hard I got and how much cum I shot all over her, her clothes were covered and soaked and she said it was fun and "wow you must really like that".

That same day we were talking about a tree that needs to be cut down in our backyard and our neighbor is an arborist. After talking about her fucking other men for hours that morning, she casually started talking about getting him to come over and cut it down. She said she was tired of waiting and we should just text him and get him over here right now to get it done. The way she said it. We never did, she left and went shopping and didn't bring it up again and I honestly wasn't ready to have that unplanned expense if we were really going to cut down the tree. But it sure as hell sounded like she was strongly contemplating fucking our neighbor. And when she got home she asked me to put on the big thing and she sat on the couch and pulled out her tits and spread her legs in her dress and wanted me to fuck her with the big thing right by the front window and the neighbor guy was outside in his driveway working. We were horny as hell and I fucked her really hard two times back to back, she was yelling "fuck my pussy" , "beat this pussy up", begging for it harder and deeper, it was insanely hot she was completely overcome with lust and the neighbor definitely heard her screaming for a big dick to fuck her pussy. And it sure as hell seemed like she was thinking of fucking him. But every time I mention her fucking the neighbor or teasing him in sexy clothes she says, "ew no he's gross".

So for mother's day I got her a massage and I made sure to book a male. Turns out he was really good looking and she loved having him rub on her naked body. When I told her I booked the massage, she immediately replied and asked me if I wanted her to wear a thong. She picked out one of her sluttiest thongs and wore a cute little summer dress. She was really revved up. She knew what I was trying to do. I honestly knew he was a professional and didn't really expect him to do anything sexual with her, but I was more so hoping that it would introduce the idea and get her thinking about the fantasy and come home to me horny as hell. She went out for a drink after and the waiter flirted with her. When she got home she just talked to me about how conflicted she was about it all. We had sex, but nothing crazy - I didn't want to push it. But I could tell it turned her on. The next day she told me that she genuinely accidentally touched his dick and he was hard and she jacked me off while she told me. He handled it very professionally.

She has had two more massages by him since then. The last one was this past Friday. She admitted to me that she had a crush on him and she fantasized about fucking him and she wanted him to kiss her and finger her on the table. Again, saying that she wanted it but then saying she would never do it. Which I told her is perfectly fine, it's just fun to talk about. I named the big thing after her massage therapist, I'll call it "John" for anonymity. We continued to talk about it and she would tell me how much it turned her on to think about. We started fucking like crazy and talking dirty and flirting via text. She came to me directly and asked me if I really want her to have sex with another man. I, of course confirmed that is my true desire and again she said she would never do it. But clearly she was thinking about it. She texted me at work and said "my mind is everywhere right now, let's fuck again".

We went out on a date last Friday. She dressed super sexy and wore a thong for me. As soon as we sat at the bar she started asking me a bunch of questions about my fantasy. We drank and talked about it for hours. The last place we went was more of a club vibe with a lot of young people. We were making out all over the place and she was sitting across from me on a bench with her legs spread, showing her thong to anyone who looked her way. She was pointing out all the guys she would fuck to me and even asked me how I would do it and asked if I would just go up to the table of hot guys and ask them if anyone wanted to fuck my wife. I told her I would if she was okay with it. There was a young muscular dude dancing like magic mike and took his shirt off, he was ripped and she was telling me how sexy he was and that she would fuck him. She even reached out and smacked his ass while he was dancing in front of her. We sat back in a dark corner, I was on a barstool and she stood beside me and I reached up her dress and started fingering her dripping pussy with 2 fingers. She wanted to fuck. We paid our tab, went to the car and started making out and fingering her right there in the car on the street. Anyone walking by would have seen her legs spread wide and foot up on the dash, I couldn't believe how wet she was. I fingered her the whole way home. We got home and went straight upstairs and I asked her if she wanted to fuck "John" and she said yes. I started pounding her with "John" aka the big thing and she was totally losing it and started moaning and screaming "Fuck me John, fuck my married pussy John". We fucked in multiple positions and then she started screaming "cum in my pussy John" over and over. It was fucking insanely hot. I loved it. I thought for sure that it was only because she was drunk and probably would be embarrassed and not want to do it again. We fucked multiple times the next day and that night she did it again, talking dirty like that totally sober and begging another man to fuck her and cum in her pussy. The next day she added him on facebook and got his number from the studio and texted him to schedule a massage for this past Friday, which was her birthday. She has been insanely horny all week and we've been fucking like rabbits. She never gives me head, but she gave me two blowjobs in the shower while I talked to her about fucking him and cumming in her pussy while she moaned and played with her pussy saying "mhmm" everytime I asked if she wanted to fuck him and feel his big dick and then she made me cum all over her face and tits, again something she never does. I love the effect it has on her.

I took her out for lunch and drinks after her massage and she told me how she flirted with him, she moaned sexily when he touched her, she bit her lip and pooched it out thinking of kissing him, she subtly caressed his hand while he was massaging her hands, she wore a slutty dark colored thong so he could see it through the thin white sheet. She said he was flirting back and they were giggling and talking about stuff, but all very innocent. After lunch she gave me another blowjob while I talked dirty to her about fucking him and made me cum all over her again. She went out with her girlfriends that night for her bday and she wore this short little dress and heels with a slutty thong. I could easily see her thong and ass when she bent over for me before she left to tease me. While she was out she texted me and said she was horny and she wanted to text "John" and flirt with him. I told her to go for it, but I was a little concerned about crossing the professional line and I didn't want to make him uncomfortable or her feel rejected if he didn't reciprocate because of the professional relationship. She just sent him a smiley face and he didn't respond, the next day she apologized and said she meant to text someone else. He was cool and said 'no worries'. That same night she flirted with a guy at the bar pretty heavy, but she said it was awkward and she felt embarrassed for flirting with him in front of her friends. And I think it almost felt forced because she wasn't really that into the guy, but she was having fun flirting. When she got home, she told me everything, but she didn't like it and felt bad for doing it. She deleted his number and told me to stop talking about him, and she doesn't want to fuck and say his name anymore. I told her she should just text him and be honest with him and let him know that she has a crush on him and she can no longer see him as a client and see what he says. She definitely thought about it and I thought she was going to, but she said no I just deleted his number it's easier to just stop and sever ties. When she texted me and told me she was done talking about it, I told her I was pretty disappointed. I probably should have just kept my mouth shut, but I was so high on all of it that I was trying to talk her into it, and she didn't react positively to that. She was irritated that I expressed disappointment. She's been pretty distant, not really responding to any of my advances. She's been pretty uptight and in a bad mood, snappy and impatient. We've still been hugging and kissing, but not nearly as affectionate as we have been for the past few weeks. It's like coming off a high and going to work on Monday

I'm worried this is a case of moving too fast and also going about it the wrong way by talking to her massage therapist since that is supposed to be professional and it presents an additional ethical dilemma that further complicates her feelings. I'm also worried that she may be feeling rejection since the guy is a professional that will not jeopardize his career and potentially misinterpret her advances. I asked if she would try a dating app anonymously so she could flirt without the same complications and she could be more selective of the guy. But that was a hard no. She is wanting connection with me, which is great. I'll back off for now and let her guide things and just try to be there for her and give her what she needs outside of sex. But it's tough. I'm sitting here right now with a raging hard-on as I write this and remember these sexy times with my wife and she's walking around the house in a sheer white dress with her bathing suit underneath, and she just got back from the grocery store wearing that! She has never worn her bathing suit out in public like that! So I'm getting these mixed signals and unsure what the best approach is right now other than just backing off and giving her space and just being her loving supportive husband without any expectations.

Anyway, I'm very sorry for spilling it all in a single post and making this so long. I think I just needed to express all of this somehow, and would love to get perspective from others about their experiences.