Wifey and I have been together for 7 years, married for 5. I have always had fantasies of having a hotwife, and we have talked about it, then fantasized about it and finally did it.

It was great, there was no jealousy or anything like that, nothing at all. It's been almost 6 months since the event, and recently we've had a bit of a discussion going about something we disagree on.

My wife does not like oral sex. Giving BJs or having me go down on her are not her thing. She has given me a BJ once, when we first started dating. I have gone down on her a couple of times in our relationship. She says she does not like it.

When we had the event though, she let the guy go down on her. And it looked like she enjoyed it. That was it though, he seemed to be unable to get it up (I think performance anxiety) and left, and we spent the whole afternoon together after that.

We've recently talked about doing it again, and she mentioned that she would give the guy a BJ and allow him to go down on her. Now this makes me uncomfortable. She would do it for someone else, but not me, so we have talked about it. Her point of view is that it is something that the guy might expect, so she might do it for him. She says she isn't into the hotwife thing, but is doing it "for me".

When it comes to me, she feels safe and free to say what she wants to do and not want to do.

From my side, I feel that this other guy might be getting something that I don't get to do, that she is somehow giving him more priority than me. Not that I want to get a BJ or something. I do like giving oral, but if she doesn't like it, I don't push.

I think its the principle of the thing. That she might feel like doing things with others while not doing those same things for me. We were talking about it today and she said "I can't believe you cannot understand, you're a compassionate person, why is this so difficult?"

I don't understand, so perhaps others can chime in? What am I failing to understand here?