This post has been de-listed
It is no longer included in search results and normal feeds (front page, hot posts, subreddit posts, etc). It remains visible only via the author's post history.
My wife and I are both 28 and we've been 10 years together. We have a baby. She a very good wife and we have a great relationship and and we both loved each other so much. She's a really attractive blonde girl with fat ass and great body. She know she's pretty and she loves receiving attention. In her old relation of 2 years, she said she cheated 5 times with 3 or 4 different guys. She said that she was young and she don't know what was true love at this moment. When we beginning dating I was always thinking she would cheat on me and that obsessed me, I was sad and mad. But now it turns me on thinking she get ponded by an other man. First time I talked her about hotwifing she was mad and said that she just want me. After a couple times discussing about that, I see that she's more in the step of thinking about that, I think that's a matter of time for her to get turn on by that. I think she would loved getting attention to a party with alcohol next time.
My question is do you think it's a good idea to do that move knowing she cheated on her ex? I'm afraid that she cheat on me and lie and don't sa nothing to me.
When I talk to her I was clear: -"If you do something, I want to know everything, that turns me on" But like they said, once a cheater, always cheater...
Yeah, you say that. But I've never met a woman who cheated just because. I'm not saying cheating is correct either. But mainly saying "Hey, you starve a dog, it's gonna eat somewhere."
Too often guys get indignant saying the woman should leave. And go where? Divorce and be a single mom, because the husband is a dick? Nah...
Here's the thing, cheating occurs because of a relationship failure. Putting it all on one party is bullshit. Thinking that a woman has anything close to an equal footing with men typically is something people blinded by their own privilege do.
And while it's not the always the case that cheating occurred through neglect, it is very often the case.
For instance from my own personal history here:
I was a personal trainer. Husband had a wife he refused to fuck until she fit back in a size 2 dress or dropped 40lbs. Was ugly to her, told her she was unfuckable and that he didn't marry her to "take him for granted and blimp out". Had a high school reunion and said if I got her in shape by the 6 month mark I'd get paid a serious bonus. It was $2k in 1997, in the deep south. (I told him to keep it)
I worked with her and she lost the weight. She and I became very close. And yes, we fucked at the very end of it all. She had gotten back in shape. But instead of being proud of her, he said,"don't slack off again, you only get this chance once."
He was abusive and shitty to her. She left him and took half his shit. He got what he deserved. She was sex starved, affection starved and emotionally abused. So yeah, she cheated and I absolutely was the other man.
I see a lot of women in this position. Where men take for granted that women have needs. And I've seen lots of guys in this position as well... with wives that use sex and affirmation as a weapon. In these circumstances blaming someone for cheating due to your mistreatment and neglect is NOT their moral/ethical failure, but your own.
Once a cheater always a cheater is kind of a hard line. Most of the time I agree, but here's the thing - people assume that when a woman cheats the man in the relationship is the victim. That's often not the case.
Women will cheat if they are starved for affection, attention, feel unwanted, not a priority, etc. The guy that doesn't meet his woman's sexual needs despite her telling him her needs are not being met? Yeah, that's ALL on the guy. Fuck him.
So my conversation would be like: "Listen, I know this is out of the blue, but I have a friend going through dealing with his wife cheating on him. I justed to let you know that if you ever feel like you need to cheat, just talk to me. I'm going to do everything I can to make that not a thing. And if you just want to have a fling with some cute guy, I'm not going to necessarily be upset. If he has something I can't provide - I might even be alright with it and support it. I guess what I am saying is that I love you so much that you'll never have a need to "cheat" you'd simply have to tell me you wanted to have sex with someone else and we'd discuss it. I might even say yes. Again, depends on the circumstance. And to clarify this is not me saying I want you to cheat. This is me saying you'll never need to. I don't want anyone but you."
Subreddit
Post Details
- Posted
- 7 months ago
- Reddit URL
- View post on reddit.com
- External URL
- reddit.com/r/HotWifeLife...
I never said that was the only reason women cheated. But in my personal experience the guy has been a significant part of the problem in the vast majority of the cases. To the ones saying "She should have told me" They need to consider that certain things don't need to be told to someone, common sense would tell you that you should know being shitty is wrong. They also can't be upset if they didn't foster an environment where open and honest communication could take place. Are their abusive women that take advantage of men? Sure. Is it usually rare? Again, sure. I try not to deal in absolutes here. Sounds like this issue is a personal one for you. That it resonates deeply with you for some reason.